The pandemic's social isolation created a lasting deficit in dating skills, particularly for young adults. Sociologists note that dating is a learned skill, not like riding a bike. Missing two formative years of practice has left many struggling to build relationships post-lockdown.
Related Insights
Social shifts, including the pandemic and online life, have diminished people's ability to handle rejection. This "rejection resilience" deficit leads to risk aversion, preventing younger generations from proactively pursuing dream jobs or relationships.
The endless-swipe model of online dating is miserable because it frames the core problem of love as a search for the 'right' person. This distracts from the actual, harder work: learning to build compatibility and navigate conflict with an inevitably imperfect human.
Contrary to the narrative that rising singlehood is purely a choice of freedom, surveys show that 60% to 70% of single people would rather be in a relationship. This indicates that for many, being single is an undesirable outcome of current social and dating market dynamics, not a celebration of independence.
Historically, people lived in communities with extended kin networks that met various social and emotional needs. Today, with the rise of the nuclear family and social isolation, individuals expect their romantic partner to be their stable companion, passionate lover, and entire support system—an impossible set of demands for one person to meet.
Based on attachment theory, a common dysfunctional dating pattern occurs when an anxiously attached person (fearing abandonment) pursues an avoidantly attached person (fearing being smothered). Their behaviors reinforce each other's deepest fears, creating an unhappy loop.
We spend more time alone due to structural factors and technology that enable avoiding interaction. This 'interiority' is a self-reinforcing cycle: as we interact less, our social skills can atrophy and social inertia sets in, making it progressively more difficult and energy-intensive to re-engage with others.
Because women traditionally 'mate up' socioeconomically, the falling economic and educational status of men has shrunk the pool of 'eligible' partners. This contributes directly to a 'mating crisis' characterized by fewer relationships, delayed family formation, and lower birth rates, with broad societal consequences.
Frictionless AI relationships and erotica provide a low-risk alternative to real dating. This could stunt the emotional growth of young men by removing the necessary experiences of rejection and resilience, which are crucial for developing motivation, confidence, and social skills.
Leaders complaining about Gen Z's lack of social skills are missing the point. This generation lost two critical years of in-person social development due to the pandemic. The responsibility falls on leaders to coach these skills, not punish employees for a gap the company didn't create.
A primary danger of AI is its ability to offer young men 'low friction' relationships with AI characters. This circumvents the messy, difficult, but necessary process of real-world interaction, stunting the development of social skills and resilience that are forged through the friction of human connection.
