A growing trend in psychology suggests relabeling emotions like anger as “unpleasant” rather than “negative.” This linguistic shift helps separate the aversive sensation from the emotion's potential long-term benefits or consequences, acknowledging that many difficult feelings have upsides.
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Blaming others for an event never produces a better outcome. To shift your mindset, recognize that while you can't control the 'Event,' you can control your 'Response' (thoughts, images, behavior). Choosing a constructive response is the only way to achieve your desired 'Outcome.'
Labeling emotions like fear as 'bad' leads to suppression. This act disconnects you from your body and forces your attention into your mind, which creates debilitating self-talk. True confidence is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to feel everything without judgment or suppression.
Fear of negative feedback prevents many professionals from posting content. Reframe this fear by understanding the psychology of trolls. People who leave hateful comments are often in pain themselves, and lashing out is their way of seeking temporary relief. Their comments are a reflection of them, not you.
Contrary to pop psychology, guilt can be a powerful motivator. Guilt makes you feel "I did a bad thing," prompting amends. Shame, however, makes you feel "I am a bad person," leading to withdrawal or aggression. A healthy dose of guilt can fuel moral ambition.
Counteract the human tendency to focus on negativity by consciously treating positive events as abundant and interconnected ("plural") while framing negative events as isolated incidents ("singular"). This mental model helps block negative prophecies from taking hold.
Instead of treating fear as a psychological flaw, view it as a neutral, physical vibration in the body. This atomic perspective, inspired by physics, allows you to step out of self-judgment and use the energy creatively. You stop managing the 'idea' of anxiety and start experiencing the raw sensation.
Instead of bottling up or immediately reacting to anger (e.g., before sending a terse email), channel the emotion physically. A brief, intense activity like lifting a dumbbell for 60 seconds helps process the frustration constructively, preventing it from escalating into a destructive response.
People are more willing to accept and incorporate feedback about traits they see as secondary, like being "well-spoken" or "witty." Tying feedback to core identity traits, such as kindness or integrity, is more likely to be perceived as a threat and trigger a defensive response.
After being scammed out of a significant sum, Kate Somerville coped by reframing the loss. She tells herself, "I hope it's feeding a family that really needs it." This mental shift turns a negative, victimizing event into a positive contribution, helping to release anger and move forward.
The meaning of an event is not fixed but is shaped by its narrative framing. As both the author and protagonist of our life stories, we can change an experience's impact by altering its "chapter breaks." Ending a story at a low point creates a negative narrative, while extending it to include later growth creates a redemptive one.
