When a customer has an issue, the instinct can be to defend your process or prove they are mistaken. This is flawed. The focus should be on resolving the situation and making the customer feel heard, not on who was technically correct. The goal is to solve, not to win the argument.
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After addressing a prospect's concern, don't assume you've solved it. Explicitly ask if your explanation was sufficient by asking, "Was that enough to satisfy your concern?" This simple check ensures the issue is truly resolved and prevents it from resurfacing later to kill your deal. Most reps answer and move on, which is a critical mistake.
In disagreements, the objective isn't to prove the other person wrong or "win" the argument. The true goal is to achieve mutual understanding. This fundamental shift in perspective transforms a confrontational dynamic into a collaborative one, making difficult conversations more productive.
People often confuse empathy with agreement. In collaborative problem-solving, empathy is a tool for understanding. You can completely disagree with someone's perspective while still working to accurately understand it, which is the necessary first step to finding a solution.
When a client offers harsh, fundamental criticism during a pitch, the best response is not to defend the work but to acknowledge the miss. One CEO won a pitch by immediately conceding the point and offering to re-pitch, demonstrating humility and confidence.
When someone is upset, directly ask if they want to be "heard" (emotional support), "helped" (practical solutions), or "hugged" (social connection). This simple heuristic clarifies their needs and prevents the conversational mismatch of offering solutions when empathy is desired.
In difficult conversations, leaders fail when focused on their own feelings or ego. The real work is to get to the absolute truth of the situation. This involves moving past your own reaction to understand why the person acted as they did, if the behavior is correctable, and what would truly motivate them to change.
The key to a successful confrontation is to stop thinking about yourself—whether you need to be seen as tough or be liked. The singular goal is to communicate the unvarnished truth in a way the other person can hear and act upon, without their defensiveness being triggered by your own emotional agenda.
The "looping" technique—repeating what you heard and asking "Did I get that right?"—is effective in conflicts even if your interpretation is incorrect. The act of trying to understand and giving them power to correct you demonstrates genuine intent, making the other person feel heard and reducing defensiveness.
Don't hide from errors. Steve Munn found that when he made a mistake, taking ownership and handling it well actually enhanced client "stickiness" and deepened the relationship. Clients saw he cared and was accountable, building more trust than if the error never happened.
We often assume our message is received as intended, but this is a frequent point of failure in communication. The only thing that matters is what the listener understands. To ensure clarity and avoid conflict, proactively ask the other person to reflect back what they heard you say.
