A three-step structure for feedback: state a neutral observation ("What"), explain its impact ("So What"), and suggest a collaborative next step ("Now What"). This focuses on the work, not the person, making the feedback more likely to be received well and acted upon.

When receiving harsh feedback, avoid a defensive posture by mentally reframing the interaction. Instead of seeing it as a personal attack across a table, visualize both of you on the same side, collaborating on a problem written on a whiteboard. This shifts the focus to the idea, not the person.

Instead of seeking consensus, your primary role in a group meeting is to surface disagreements. This brings out the real challenges and priorities that are usually discussed behind closed doors, giving you the full picture of the problem before you ever present a solution.

Kindness and candor are not opposites. When leaders establish a culture of kindness, employees trust that direct, constructive feedback comes from a place of positive intent. This trust makes difficult conversations more effective and better received, as it's seen as an act of care.

Leadership coach Denise Blank suggests using non-judgmental metaphors from nature (e.g., 'stuck in an eddy,' 'at a cross current') to describe conflict patterns. This allows teams to address the dynamic itself without blaming individuals, fostering curiosity and collaboration instead of defensiveness.

The "99% Invisible" team uses shorthand phrases like "CWGHF" (Can We Get Here Faster?). This coded language transforms potentially harsh criticism into a shared, objective problem to solve, depersonalizing feedback and protecting creative morale during intense group edits.

To prevent resentment in high-pressure teams, implement a scheduled forum for fearless feedback, like a "Sunday SmackDown." This creates a predictable, safe container for airing grievances—personal or professional. By separating critique from daily operations, it allows team members to be open and constructive without the awkwardness or fear of disrupting morale, thereby preventing small issues from escalating.

To get truthful feedback, leaders should criticize their own ideas first. By openly pointing out a flaw in their plan (the "ugly baby"), they signal that criticism is safe and desired, preventing subordinates from just offering praise out of fear or deference.

To prevent conflict from becoming personal or chaotic, first, explicitly state the disagreement out loud. Then, assign individuals to argue each side to ensure all perspectives are fully explored. This depersonalizes the debate and focuses it on the problem, not the people involved.