A mentor isn't someone who provides step-by-step instructions. The most powerful learning comes from finding someone you admire and closely observing their every move, how they speak, and how they behave in the face of obstacles, rather than seeking direct guidance.

It's healthy to be inspired by role models (aspiration). Envy, however, often arises when you admire someone's success but dislike the methods they used to achieve it. This distinction is crucial for finding healthy motivation without falling into a destructive mindset.

Motivation requires both ambition (the desire for a goal) and expectancy (the belief that you can personally achieve it). You can show someone a thousand success stories, but if they don't believe it's possible *for them*, they won't take action. The gate to motivation is personal belief.

The responsibility of being a role model creates a unique pressure to maintain a high standard. This isn't just a burden; it's a force that keeps you disciplined and sharp, as you understand that others are taking strength from your actions and words.

Adopting a single 'role model' is flawed because no one is perfect. A better approach is to consciously identify the one thing each person you meet is exceptionally good at. This allows you to learn from a wide array of strengths without being blinded by their shortcomings.

To effectively lead through influence, go beyond aligning on shared business objectives. Understand what personally motivates your cross-functional peers—their career aspirations or personal goals. The most powerful way to gain buy-in is to demonstrate how your initiative helps them achieve their individual ambitions.

Treat mentors as a collection of traits, not a monolithic influence. Actively adopt the qualities you admire while consciously rejecting the ones that don't align with your goals. A person can be a great role model for one area of life but a poor one for another.

A defining trait of truly impactful leaders is their ability to see and nurture potential before an individual recognizes it themselves. This external belief acts as a powerful catalyst, giving people the confidence to tackle challenges they would otherwise avoid and building deep, lasting loyalty.

Product leaders can systematically create influence by applying Self-Determination Theory. Fulfilling the team's and users' needs for autonomy (choice), competence (mastery), and relatedness (connection) is the key to motivating behavior change without direct power.