We unconsciously align our biological rhythms—heart rate, brain waves, etc.—with people around us. This "interpersonal synchrony" is the scientific basis for the feeling of "clicking" with someone and shapes our sense of trust and connection.
Speed dating studies show couples who "click" are biologically in sync, even if a person violates the other's stated preferences (e.g., height, religion). This highlights the limits of algorithm-based matching, which cannot capture this multi-sensory phenomenon.
The "bad apple effect" isn't just about a poor attitude; it's a physiological phenomenon. Our innate instinct to sync with others makes us susceptible to their negative or erratic energy, which can unconsciously infect an entire team and poison the group dynamic.
Treat mentors as a collection of traits, not a monolithic influence. Actively adopt the qualities you admire while consciously rejecting the ones that don't align with your goals. A person can be a great role model for one area of life but a poor one for another.
Personal growth accelerates via "transformational gravity." Individuals who are vastly more experienced in your desired field exert a stronger pull, helping you progress much faster than mentors who are only slightly ahead. The greater the gap, the stronger the magnetic pull towards your goal.
Influential people are instinctively inclined to help those they perceive as "insiders." To gain their support, find a way to become part of their tribe. This can be through shared groups, interests, or backgrounds, leveraging the human instinct to support one's own.