Treat mentors as a collection of traits, not a monolithic influence. Actively adopt the qualities you admire while consciously rejecting the ones that don't align with your goals. A person can be a great role model for one area of life but a poor one for another.
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A mentor isn't someone who provides step-by-step instructions. The most powerful learning comes from finding someone you admire and closely observing their every move, how they speak, and how they behave in the face of obstacles, rather than seeking direct guidance.
When receiving criticism or mentorship, evaluate the person's entire life—not just their success in one domain. If their family life, health, or character are not what you aspire to, their advice may be misaligned with your values, regardless of their financial or professional achievements.
Early career advice focuses on fixing weaknesses. However, experienced leaders should shift their focus. While weaknesses must be mitigated so they don't become a liability, true effectiveness comes from understanding, amplifying, and deploying your core strengths, which is what ultimately makes you a great leader.
Adopting a single 'role model' is flawed because no one is perfect. A better approach is to consciously identify the one thing each person you meet is exceptionally good at. This allows you to learn from a wide array of strengths without being blinded by their shortcomings.
When learning from successful people, model the obsessive work ethic they had during their rise, not the work-life balance they enjoy after achieving success. Their current state is the result of past imbalance, not a template for getting there.
Wisdom is not tied to professional status. True insight often comes from individuals whose vocation doesn't reflect their deep understanding. Seek mentorship from people you want to emulate as a person, not just those with outwardly successful careers, as vocation is not identity.
Despite delivering excellent sales numbers, a sales VP was reprimanded by her mentor for being too task-focused and ignoring colleagues. The mentor's message was clear: how you treat people is more important than the revenue you generate. This highlights a focus on long-term character development.
It's a mistake to copy the current habits of highly successful people. Their present behavior is a result of their success. Instead, model the hustling, risk-taking strategies they employed when they were in a similar position to you.
No single teacher or mentor is perfect. A more effective approach is to identify specific, desirable qualities in various people—such as an investor's rationality or a leader's compassion—and focus on learning how to embody those particular traits, rather than idealizing the entire person.
Advice from successful individuals often reflects their current position of luxury and flexibility, not the grueling, unbalanced methods they used to get there. To achieve similar success, emulate what your heroes did when they were at your stage, not the balanced approach they can afford now.