Direct questions in sales or leadership can feel confrontational. Prefacing them with 'I'm curious...' completely changes the dynamic from an interrogation to a collaborative effort to understand. This simple linguistic shift builds trust, encourages openness, and turns transactions into lasting relationships.

Instead of rushing to fill a quiet moment with a pitch, deploy the phrase "I'm so curious about..." to prompt the buyer. This simple, disarming line invites them to elaborate on a point, turning a potentially awkward pause into an opportunity for a more natural, flowing conversation and deeper discovery.

The best interviews aren't about one person dominating. They're like a long tennis rally where both participants hit the ball hard but aim to keep the conversation going, creating a more engaging and insightful exchange for the audience.

The key to building deep connection isn't getting someone to say 'you're right,' but 'that's right.' The latter confirms they feel fully seen and heard, creating a neurobiological connection essential for trust, a technique applicable from hostage situations to management.

Citing Oprah Winfrey, Rubenstein argues the key to great interviewing is not having the best questions but being a great listener. True listening allows the interviewer to pivot and follow up on unexpected answers, turning a rigid Q&A into a genuine conversation that uncovers far deeper insights than a prepared script ever could.

Asking questions that probe values, beliefs, or experiences—"deep questions"—can create surprisingly intimate connections in seconds, even with strangers like a barista. These questions invite authenticity and move beyond superficial small talk, making the other person feel seen and valued.

The most vital and unnatural skill for sales reps is listening. The key is a mindset shift: listen with the intent to truly understand the customer's core issue. This forces you to ask deeper, clarifying questions instead of just formulating your next response.

Beginning with "where was I and what was I doing?" triggers an evolutionary response in the listener's brain, releasing five key chemicals (like oxytocin and dopamine). This immediately makes the audience attentive, trusting, and better able to retain the information that follows.

The first step to humanizing a brand is not internal brainstorming, but conducting deep-dive interviews with recent customers. The goal is to understand precisely what problem they were solving and why they chose your solution over others, grounding your brand messaging in real-world validation.