Direct questions in sales or leadership can feel confrontational. Prefacing them with 'I'm curious...' completely changes the dynamic from an interrogation to a collaborative effort to understand. This simple linguistic shift builds trust, encourages openness, and turns transactions into lasting relationships.
Instead of rushing to fill a quiet moment with a pitch, deploy the phrase "I'm so curious about..." to prompt the buyer. This simple, disarming line invites them to elaborate on a point, turning a potentially awkward pause into an opportunity for a more natural, flowing conversation and deeper discovery.
To defuse conflict, frame your perspective as a personal narrative rather than objective fact. This linguistic tool signals vulnerability and invites dialogue by acknowledging your story could be wrong, preventing the other person's brain from defaulting to a defensive, "fight or flight" response.
Instead of asking standard discovery questions, top performers pose strategic questions that require joint exploration. This shifts the dynamic from a sales pitch to a collaborative problem-solving session, creating a deeper partnership and revealing unforeseen opportunities that standard questions would miss.
The key to building deep connection isn't getting someone to say 'you're right,' but 'that's right.' The latter confirms they feel fully seen and heard, creating a neurobiological connection essential for trust, a technique applicable from hostage situations to management.
Fixating on closing a deal triggers negativity bias and creates a sense of desperation that prospects can detect. To counteract this, salespeople should shift their primary objective from 'How do I close this?' to 'How do I help this person?'. This simple reframe leads to better questions, stronger rapport, and more natural closes.
To avoid sounding pushy when asking critical questions about a deal's viability, frame them as necessary steps to ensure the customer's success post-implementation. This shifts the intent from closing a deal to building a successful partnership, encouraging open answers.
True connection requires humility. Instead of trying to imagine another's viewpoint ("perspective taking"), a more effective approach is to actively seek it out through questions and tentative statements ("perspective getting"). This avoids misreads and shows genuine interest.
Instead of offering unsolicited advice, first ask for permission. Frame the feedback around a shared goal (e.g., "I know you want to be the best leader possible") and then ask, "I spotted something that's getting in the way. Could I tell you about it?" This approach makes the recipient far more willing to listen and act.
A simple act of pausing to ask for clarification when you don't understand something demonstrates genuine engagement and active listening. This small gesture can be more persuasive to a prospect than a flawless pitch, as it shows you are prioritizing understanding over just speaking.
Instead of ignoring a buyer's hesitation, directly address it with phrases like "You seem hesitant." This improv-inspired technique disrupts conversational patterns, gets the buyer's attention, and opens the door to a more honest discussion about their underlying concerns, showing you are paying close attention.