The foundation of clear communication isn't eloquence but active listening. The goal is to understand the other person's perspective before formulating a response, which also helps prevent reactive, stress-induced replies and makes others feel heard.

In a crisis, the instinct is to shout louder and match escalating chaos. True leadership involves 'energetic jujitsu': deliberately slowing down and bringing calmness to the situation. This rare skill is more powerful than simply increasing intensity.

In leadership, especially during conflict, you have a choice. You can be a 'thermometer,' merely reacting to the emotional temperature of the room, or a 'thermostat,' actively setting and controlling it. Great leaders intentionally manage the environment, calming panic or creating urgency as needed, rather than mirroring the ambient mood.

The brain's emotional center is five times stronger than its rational part. When triggered by stress, it shuts down executive function. A deliberate 90-second pause is a powerful antidote that allows the physiological wave of emotion to pass, enabling clearer, more considered decision-making.

When facing an existential business threat, the most effective response is to suppress emotional panic and adopt a calm, methodical mindset, like a pilot running through an emergency checklist. This allows for clear, logical decision-making when stakes are highest and prevents paralysis from fear.

Tim Hortons' CMO embraces the pressure of managing a beloved brand as "positive anxiety." She internalizes the stress while presenting a calm, confident front to her team, similar to a duck serene on the surface but paddling furiously underneath, preventing her stress from impacting team morale.

In volatile times, the instinct is to act decisively and quickly. Brené Brown argues the more effective approach is to pause, assess the situation holistically (like a soccer player controlling the ball), and then make a strategic move. This prevents reactive, scarcity-driven decisions that often backfire.

In a tense meeting or interview, focusing on summarizing the other person's points serves a dual purpose. It makes them feel heard, but more importantly, it gives your own nervous system time to settle. This shifts focus outward, reducing internal anxiety and allowing you to respond more calmly and effectively.

In a fast-moving world, the best leaders don't just react faster. They create the perception of more time by "settling the ball"—using anticipatory and situational awareness to pause, think strategically, and ensure actions are aligned with goals, rather than just being busy.