When clients feel overwhelmed and are tempted to cancel sessions, Matt Spielman insists this is when coaching is most critical. The act of "slowing down to speed up" for a brief, focused conversation helps leaders get grounded and re-prioritize, making them more effective under pressure.

A strategic reason for a leader to resign is to de-escalate public tension. After a crisis, the leader can become a symbol of that difficult period. By stepping down, they absorb the negative sentiment, lower the political temperature, and allow their organization to move forward.

In leadership, especially during conflict, you have a choice. You can be a 'thermometer,' merely reacting to the emotional temperature of the room, or a 'thermostat,' actively setting and controlling it. Great leaders intentionally manage the environment, calming panic or creating urgency as needed, rather than mirroring the ambient mood.

The brain's emotional center is five times stronger than its rational part. When triggered by stress, it shuts down executive function. A deliberate 90-second pause is a powerful antidote that allows the physiological wave of emotion to pass, enabling clearer, more considered decision-making.

When facing an existential business threat, the most effective response is to suppress emotional panic and adopt a calm, methodical mindset, like a pilot running through an emergency checklist. This allows for clear, logical decision-making when stakes are highest and prevents paralysis from fear.

When a senior stakeholder proposes a potentially disruptive idea, direct resistance ('pushing') is counterproductive and strengthens their resolve. Instead, 'pull' them into a collaborative exploration. Acknowledge the idea, discuss the underlying problem it solves, and then gently steer the conversation back to how it aligns with the agreed-upon North Star, defusing tension.

In difficult discussions, choosing not to respond is a powerful tool. It serves as a boundary on yourself to prevent a reactive, unhelpful comment and is a conscious choice when you recognize a conversation is unproductive. It's about control, not passivity.

Based on a Zen story, "eating the blame" involves proactively apologizing for your part in a conflict, even when you feel your partner is more at fault. This emotionally counter-intuitive act breaks the cycle of defensiveness and creates space for resolution, making it a highly agentic move.

In volatile times, the instinct is to act decisively and quickly. Brené Brown argues the more effective approach is to pause, assess the situation holistically (like a soccer player controlling the ball), and then make a strategic move. This prevents reactive, scarcity-driven decisions that often backfire.