When given unclear feedback like 'be more strategic,' don't ask for a definition. Instead, ask for concrete examples: 'What would it have looked like for me to be strategic?' or 'What would you have done differently?' This forces managers to provide actionable guidance instead of abstract criticism.
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To give difficult feedback, use the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model. Instead of making accusations, state the situation, the specific behavior, and crucially, the impact it had on you. This approach prevents triggering a defensive, fight-or-flight response in the recipient.
A three-step structure for feedback: state a neutral observation ("What"), explain its impact ("So What"), and suggest a collaborative next step ("Now What"). This focuses on the work, not the person, making the feedback more likely to be received well and acted upon.
When receiving harsh feedback, avoid a defensive posture by mentally reframing the interaction. Instead of seeing it as a personal attack across a table, visualize both of you on the same side, collaborating on a problem written on a whiteboard. This shifts the focus to the idea, not the person.
Leaders can reduce team anxiety and prevent misinterpretation by explicitly categorizing input. 'Do' is a direct order (used rarely), 'Try' is an experiment, and 'Consider' is a low-stakes suggestion (used 80-85% of the time). This ensures a leader's random thoughts aren't treated as gospel.
Before giving feedback or answering a complex question, ask a clarifying question. This isn't just for the other person's benefit; it's a strategic tool to help you target your own response, ensuring it's relevant and concise.
To move from execution to strategy, stop waiting for permission or a promotion. Proactively demonstrate strategic thinking in your current role. Instead of just reporting what you did, frame your updates as "This is what I think we should do and why."
When giving feedback, structure it in three parts. "What" is the specific observation. "So what" explains its impact on you or the situation. "Now what" provides a clear, forward-looking suggestion for change. This framework ensures feedback is understood and actionable.
Instead of offering unsolicited advice, first ask for permission. Frame the feedback around a shared goal (e.g., "I know you want to be the best leader possible") and then ask, "I spotted something that's getting in the way. Could I tell you about it?" This approach makes the recipient far more willing to listen and act.
Many existential questions ('What is the meaning of life?') cause stress because their terms are undefined. Instead of trying to answer them, first ask if every term can be clearly defined and if the answer is actionable. If not, the question is poorly worded and should be dismissed.
To get candid early-stage feedback, founder Janice Omadeke disarmed potential advisors by explicitly asking them to tell her if her "baby is ugly" and why. This framing signaled a thick skin and a genuine desire for constructive criticism, leading to more valuable insights instead of polite encouragement.
