Research shows a genuine compliment activates the same part of the brain as a financial reward. To make praise meaningful, use the ASI framework: Authenticity (be genuine), Specificity (what exactly was great), and Impact (how it affected you). This structure ensures the compliment lands with intention.
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To give difficult feedback, use the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model. Instead of making accusations, state the situation, the specific behavior, and crucially, the impact it had on you. This approach prevents triggering a defensive, fight-or-flight response in the recipient.
A "team brag session"—where each member publicly praises a colleague—is counterintuitively more beneficial for the giver. While the recipient feels respected, the act of recognizing others elevates the praiser's own morale and strengthens team bonds.
To sustain sales team hunger, leaders should prioritize small, daily recognitions over waiting for major milestones. A quick Slack message acknowledging good work reinforces positive behavior and connects daily effort to the bigger picture, making people feel their work is appreciated.
To genuinely express gratitude, first connect with the authentic feeling of appreciation. The specific method of showing it is secondary and should align with your personal style. If the intent isn't real, any gesture, no matter how grand, will feel inauthentic.
Gratitude isn't just a positive emotion; it's a neurological tool. It activates the brain's reward centers, releasing dopamine and serotonin. This reduces stress and anxiety while increasing confidence and emotional control, giving salespeople a tangible performance edge.
While systems are key in business, gratitude must remain a personal act. When appreciation is automated or delegated without genuine personal involvement, recipients can sense the lack of authenticity. This 'cheap' gratitude can do more harm than good, as it feels obligatory rather than heartfelt.
When giving feedback, structure it in three parts. "What" is the specific observation. "So what" explains its impact on you or the situation. "Now what" provides a clear, forward-looking suggestion for change. This framework ensures feedback is understood and actionable.
People are more willing to accept and incorporate feedback about traits they see as secondary, like being "well-spoken" or "witty." Tying feedback to core identity traits, such as kindness or integrity, is more likely to be perceived as a threat and trigger a defensive response.
Deflecting a compliment is like rejecting a gift and can signal low self-worth. Instead of immediately brushing it off or returning it, which can feel insincere, simply pause to absorb it and say, "Thank you, I really receive that." This demonstrates confidence and grace.
Compliments are a tool for self-conditioning, not just validation for your partner. By making a habit of saying positive things out loud, you reinforce your own brain's neural pathways for appreciation and happiness, strengthening your experience of the relationship.
