Direct questions in sales or leadership can feel confrontational. Prefacing them with 'I'm curious...' completely changes the dynamic from an interrogation to a collaborative effort to understand. This simple linguistic shift builds trust, encourages openness, and turns transactions into lasting relationships.

The goal of asking questions isn't just for you to gather information. It's a Socratic dialogue designed to help stakeholders think differently and arrive at the real need themselves. By guiding their thought process, you build deeper alignment and co-create a better solution, rather than just extracting requirements for yourself to fulfill.

Instead of asking standard discovery questions, top performers pose strategic questions that require joint exploration. This shifts the dynamic from a sales pitch to a collaborative problem-solving session, creating a deeper partnership and revealing unforeseen opportunities that standard questions would miss.

Originating from research with terminally ill children, the 'spill question' (e.g., 'Tell me about X') is a powerful, open-ended prompt. It allows people to reveal their primary concern organically, bypassing the researcher's assumptions about what is important.

Asking questions that probe values, beliefs, or experiences—"deep questions"—can create surprisingly intimate connections in seconds, even with strangers like a barista. These questions invite authenticity and move beyond superficial small talk, making the other person feel seen and valued.

True connection requires humility. Instead of trying to imagine another's viewpoint ("perspective taking"), a more effective approach is to actively seek it out through questions and tentative statements ("perspective getting"). This avoids misreads and shows genuine interest.

Curiosity is a long-term strategy, not a one-time tactic. By consistently asking curious questions across multiple interactions, you can identify a client's evolving business patterns and trajectory. This deep understanding allows you to anticipate needs and transform your role from a transactional vendor to a trusted strategic partner.

Instead of pitching a customer, ask them, "Why did you decide to get on this call?" and "Why now?" This forces the prospect to articulate their own pain and why they believe you are the solution, reversing the sales dynamic and revealing core buying motivations.