The common fear that women earning more degrees than men is causing a rise in singledom is a 'red herring.' Data on modern couples reveals no increased risk of breakup or instability in relationships where the woman is more educated than the man. These mismatched pairings are common and just as successful as others.
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Despite social progress, reversing traditional provider roles can create relationship friction. The podcast highlights research showing that when women earn more, it can negatively impact male identity and female attraction, leading to higher divorce rates.
Contrary to evolutionary psychology's emphasis on matching 'mate value' (e.g., a 7 with a 7), research shows that mismatched couples (e.g., an 8 with a 5 in attractiveness) are no more likely to break up, be unhappy, or cheat. The initial perceived value difference does not predict long-term relationship success.
Women's rising socioeconomic status has led to "hyperandry," where men marry "up" economically. This is now the norm for the bottom 40% of male earners and the top 20% of female earners, creating a new social landscape with unresolved cultural tensions and mismatched preferences.
Data shows high-status men practice assortative mating, pairing with women of similar educational and economic standing. The "rich man marries the young, beautiful waitress" trope is a myth; successful men value partners they can relate to intellectually and who understand their world.
As women's success grows, their preference to "date up and across" creates an imbalanced sex ratio at the top of the socioeconomic ladder. This gives a small group of ultra-high-performing men disproportionate power, leading them to be less committal.
Contrary to common advice, high expectations aren't inherently bad for marriage. They create a bifurcation: couples who invest enough to meet these expectations achieve unprecedented levels of fulfillment, while those who can't are often unhappier than couples from past eras with lower expectations.
Society teaches men their primary financial role is "provider." As women's earnings rise, men who earn less than their partners often feel lost when asked to define their financial identity beyond this script. This highlights a need to redefine male financial roles to include nurturer, helper, or leader.
Because women traditionally 'mate up' socioeconomically, the falling economic and educational status of men has shrunk the pool of 'eligible' partners. This contributes directly to a 'mating crisis' characterized by fewer relationships, delayed family formation, and lower birth rates, with broad societal consequences.
Demographers theorized that as men adapted to women's emancipation, relationship rates would re-stabilize. However, even in highly egalitarian Scandinavian countries, singlehood continues to rise. This suggests deeper factors are driving the trend, forcing experts to reconsider its causes and ultimate plateau.
Despite social progress, a man's identity remains deeply tied to his economic status. When a woman in a relationship earns more than her male partner, the likelihood of divorce doubles, and his use of erectile dysfunction medication triples. This reveals a persistent and powerful link between masculinity, money, and relationship stability.
