Men constantly grapple with a desire for high performance while simultaneously needing compassion and self-love. The internal challenge is to pursue potential without feeling insufficient, and to want support without feeling broken.
Intense initial chemistry is often misinterpreted as a special bond. In reality, it's more likely an attribute of one person who is alluring and 'sparky' with everyone, making it a poor predictor of long-term compatibility and success.
Marriage is no longer a universal institution but a strong indicator of economic status. Three-quarters of men in the top income quintile will marry, compared to only one-quarter in the lowest quintile, making stable partnership a modern Veblen good.
Decades ago, policies corrected the 60-40 male-to-female college enrollment gap. Now that the ratio has reversed to favor women, the idea of affirmative action for men is politically unpalatable, revealing a societal double standard.
Becoming a man is not tied to age but to reaching a point of "surplus value," where one objectively contributes more to society than they extract. This can be economic, emotional, or social, marking a shift from a net consumer to a net producer.
The societal "gag reflex" against discussing men's struggles is rooted in the fact that early voices on the topic often conflated masculinity with coarseness and cruelty. This created a lasting, negative association that hinders productive conversation.
Women can distinguish between being 'nice' with an ulterior motive and being an authentically 'kind' person. True kindness is demonstrated through unreciprocated prosocial acts toward others, signaling a character trait that is highly attractive for a long-term partner.
When addressing challenges faced by men, there's often societal pressure to first acknowledge the historical and ongoing struggles of women. This framing can irritate, exhaust, and dilute the focus on men's specific problems.
A huge portion of the market, dominated by social media and AI companies, connects shareholder value directly to enragement and isolation. Algorithms are designed to sequester users and serve them content that confirms biases or angers them, keeping them engaged.
The #MeToo movement's message to "not be pushy" was taken to heart by men who were already nervous and respectful, confirming their fears. Meanwhile, men who already disregarded boundaries continued to do so, widening the behavioral gap.
The loss of a male role model makes a boy more likely to be incarcerated than to graduate college. The same event has almost no statistical impact on a girl's life outcomes, highlighting boys' greater neurological and emotional vulnerability.
Contrary to the 'lonely spinster' stereotype, men lacking romantic partners are more prone to substance abuse and other unproductive behaviors. Men in relationships also live significantly longer, suggesting they benefit more from the partnership's 'guardrails.'
As women's success grows, their preference to "date up and across" creates an imbalanced sex ratio at the top of the socioeconomic ladder. This gives a small group of ultra-high-performing men disproportionate power, leading them to be less committal.
Societal applause for women excelling in male domains like CEO leadership, while downplaying nurturing roles, subtly implies that masculine pursuits are inherently more valuable. This reveals a form of patronizing sexism from within progressive circles.
Public discourse comfortably accepts generalizations that women are better doctors, but similar statements about men being better entrepreneurs due to risk-aggression are met with discomfort. This reveals a bias in how gender-based attributes are perceived and discussed.
A program like Israel's mandatory service provides structure, teaches skills, fosters competence, and reduces discrimination through forced cooperation. It could disproportionately benefit young men who are often not ready for the unstructured environment of college at age 18.