Most leaders are conflict-avoidant. Instead of running from tension, view it as a data point signaling an unaddressed issue or misalignment. This reframes conflict from a threat into an opportunity for discovery and improvement, prompting curiosity rather than fear.

People won't bring you problems if they fear your reaction. To build trust, leaders must not only control their emotions but actively thank the messenger. This reframes problem-reporting from a negative event to a positive act that helps you see reality more clearly.

In relationships with a power differential, leaders default to problem-solving. A more effective approach is to first ask a question like, "What does this diagnosis mean to you?" This addresses the subordinate's emotional and social anxieties, making them more receptive to practical advice.

Instead of solving problems brought by their team, effective leaders empower them by shifting ownership. After listening to an issue, the immediate next step is to ask the team to propose a viable solution. This builds their problem-solving and decision-making capabilities.

Refusing to discuss fear and feelings at work is inefficient. Leaders must invest a reasonable amount of time proactively attending to team emotions or be forced to squander an unreasonable amount of time reacting to the negative behaviors that result from those unaddressed feelings.

A common pitfall for new managers is seeking validation by being liked. A great leader's role is to provide constructive challenges and uncomfortable feedback, which fosters genuine growth and ultimately earns the team's gratitude and respect.

Creating an environment where people feel safe to speak up requires more than just asking for it. Leaders must actively model the desired behavior. This includes admitting their own mistakes, asking questions they worry might be "dumb," and framing their own actions as experiments to show that learning and failure are acceptable.

A leader's most difficult but necessary task is to be truthful, even when it hurts. Avoiding hard realities by "fluffing around" creates a false sense of security and prevents problems from being solved. Delivering honest feedback empathetically is critical for progress and building trust, distinguishing effective leaders from ineffective ones.

The non-verbal signals a leader sends in the first few seconds after an employee speaks up—especially if done nervously or imperfectly—are the most critical factor in determining whether that person will feel safe enough to offer candid feedback again. This micro-interaction has an outsized impact on psychological safety.