People won't bring you problems if they fear your reaction. To build trust, leaders must not only control their emotions but actively thank the messenger. This reframes problem-reporting from a negative event to a positive act that helps you see reality more clearly.

Kindness and candor are not opposites. When leaders establish a culture of kindness, employees trust that direct, constructive feedback comes from a place of positive intent. This trust makes difficult conversations more effective and better received, as it's seen as an act of care.

The most selfish thing a leader can do is withhold feedback because giving it would be uncomfortable. In that moment, you are optimizing for your own comfort at the expense of your colleague's growth. High-performance teams require radical candor, which is fundamentally an unselfish act.

A common misconception is that psychological safety means avoiding confrontation. True psychological safety creates an environment where team members feel secure enough to engage in productive debate and challenge ideas without fear of personal reprisal, leading to better decisions.

Leaders inadvertently stifle communication through three common traps: underestimating their own intimidation, relying on echo chambers for advice, and sending negative non-verbal cues (or "shut-up signals") like a distracted or frowning face during conversations, which discourages others from speaking up.

To avoid influencing their team's feedback, leaders should adopt the practice of being the last person to share their opinion. This creates a psychologically safe environment where ideas are judged on merit, not on alignment with the leader's preconceived notions, often making the best decision obvious.

Creating an environment where people feel safe to speak up requires more than just asking for it. Leaders must actively model the desired behavior. This includes admitting their own mistakes, asking questions they worry might be "dumb," and framing their own actions as experiments to show that learning and failure are acceptable.

To get truthful feedback, leaders should criticize their own ideas first. By openly pointing out a flaw in their plan (the "ugly baby"), they signal that criticism is safe and desired, preventing subordinates from just offering praise out of fear or deference.

The phrase "Can I give you feedback?" triggers a threat response. Neuroleadership research shows that flipping the script—having leaders proactively *ask* for feedback—reduces the associated stress by 50% for both parties. This simple tweak fosters a culture of psychological safety and continuous improvement.