Learning is easiest when you have 'nothing to lose,' like a beginner on a golf course. Once a person achieves a baseline level of competence, the fear of taking a step back in performance to learn a new method makes them resistant to coaching, even if it promises long-term gains.
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Coaching requires shifting your style based on the learner's specific phase of skill acquisition. Following the Situational Leadership model, a coach must move from directing (low skill, high motivation) to supporting (growing skill, low confidence) and finally to delegating (high skill). A mismatch in style will fail.
The primary obstacle to taking risks isn't the potential for failure, but the ego's fear of public judgment and shame. People avoid challenges to protect their image. True growth begins when you prioritize learning and feedback over maintaining a facade of perfection.
When presented with a new strategy, high performers are drawn to it because they are mentally disciplined to be comfortable with risk. In contrast, middle and low performers often resist change because it feels like a personal judgment on their past methods, triggering fear and shame.
Many people stay in their comfort zones not just because they fear failure, but because they are addicted to what is familiar. Unlocking potential requires choosing courage over the comfort of the known.
Salespeople often focus on being 'coachable' (receptive to feedback). A more powerful trait is humility—the proactive asking for help and recognition that success is a team effort. Humility unlocks collaboration and support, getting you further, faster than simply being open to advice.
The moments you feel most uncomfortable, nervous, or afraid of looking foolish are the most critical opportunities for growth. Instead of backing away, reframe them as a 'teacher' designed to expand your capabilities and master your ego.
AT&T's CMO credits her father's success as an MLB pitcher to his intense coachability. He constantly adapted his technique based on scout feedback, from hiding his curveball tip at age 14 to changing his pitch grip in college. This shows that a willingness to adapt is crucial, regardless of talent level.
Stop waiting for confidence to act. Confidence is not a prerequisite but a result. Taking action, even when you feel incompetent, builds skills. This competence is what ultimately generates authentic confidence.
Instead of gradually easing into a new skill, jump in completely to get an immediate, honest assessment of your abilities. This “cannonball” approach bypasses the procrastination of playing it safe and provides a clear starting point for targeted improvement, especially when training with experts.
We often think motivation is required to learn a new skill. The reality is the reverse: taking action and achieving a small degree of competence is what sparks the motivation to learn more. Leaders must facilitate action, not just inspire.
