Psychologist Thomas Curran traces his own perfectionism to feelings of inadequacy from his working-class youth. This drive to be flawless is less about achievement and more about “buying your way out of shame” and proving one's worth to overcome feelings of inferiority.

The desire to flaunt wealth isn't always about status; it can be an attempt to heal a deep-seated emotional wound from being 'snubbed' or feeling inadequate in the past. This behavior serves to prove to oneself, and others, that one has overcome a past social or economic scar.

Diller suggests that not having innate confidence forced him to seek validation by pleasing others. This initial drive to prove his worth in others' eyes was the catalyst for his entire career trajectory, suggesting a lack of self-belief can be a powerful, paradoxical motivator.

From a young age, we suppress our authentic selves (intuition) to maintain connection with caregivers. This creates a lifelong pattern of seeking external validation over internal knowing, leading us to distrust our gut feelings.

The ambition to land big-name clients can be fueled by a subconscious need to prove doubters wrong. This reveals a deeper motivation: an ambition driven by a "wound of wanting to feel enough" rather than pure business strategy, which can lead to misaligned partnerships.

Many high-achievers are driven by a subconscious need to please an authority figure who never gave them "the blessing"—a clear affirmation that they are enough. This unfulfilled need fuels a relentless cycle of striving and accumulation, making it crucial to question the motives behind one's ambition.

For the extremely wealthy, true luxury isn't material possessions but anonymity. By intentionally scrubbing their public presence, families can avoid the transactional relationships and emotional stunting that fame brings. This allows them and their children to be treated as normal people, a benefit that is nearly impossible to buy.

The root cause of people-pleasing is often a “self-abandonment wound.” We seek validation or acceptance from others because we are trying to get something from them that we are not giving ourselves. The solution is to develop internal self-acceptance and set boundaries.

Early life experiences of inadequacy or invalidation often create deep-seated insecurities. As adults, we are subconsciously driven to pursue success in those specific areas—be it money, power, or recognition—to fill that void and gain the validation we lacked.