With a 56-76% failure rate, marriage should be analyzed like any failing technology, not blindly adopted as tradition. Questioning "why" you are getting married is a critical first step that modern culture wrongly deems rude and off-limits.

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We dedicate years to learning skills like math but expect people to navigate the complexities of marriage with no training. Society frames marriage as a magical state you're either good at or not, rather than a practical skill set that can be taught, practiced, and improved, leading to predictable failure.

Contrary to romantic narratives, men's decisions to commit are driven by a list of practical, factual criteria like compatible values, shared future direction, and productive communication. While important, feelings of 'love and connection' are not the primary factors that make someone the right person to marry.

Your choice of a life partner has a greater impact on your financial future than any career or investment. Financial incompatibility is the number one reason for divorce, underscoring that marriage is a financial contract at its core, where alignment on money matters more than romantic feelings for long-term stability.

Couples make two fatal, opposing assumptions. First, that marriage will fix a partner's existing flaws. Second, that the person they marry will not fundamentally change over decades. A successful marriage requires accepting current flaws while preparing to grow alongside an evolving partner.

Contrary to common advice, high expectations aren't inherently bad for marriage. They create a bifurcation: couples who invest enough to meet these expectations achieve unprecedented levels of fulfillment, while those who can't are often unhappier than couples from past eras with lower expectations.

Historically, marriage was a pragmatic institution for resource sharing, political alliances, and acquiring in-laws. The now-dominant concept of marrying for love and personal attraction is a relatively recent cultural development, primarily from the 18th and 19th centuries.

Historically, the male-female bond was a clear exchange of protection and resources for nurturing and family-building. In the safe, prosperous West, these needs are less urgent, dismantling the traditional incentives for partnership and leading to widespread confusion about relationship roles.

The 'lie' of monogamy is not that it's a bad choice, but that culture has sanctified it as the only valid path. This framing turns non-monogamous people into villains and ignores that polygyny is the biological norm for most animals, including pre-agrarian humans.

Divorce can be financially devastating, potentially erasing decades of wealth through legal fees and asset division. Therefore, choosing a life partner is not just an emotional decision but a crucial financial one. Ensuring financial compatibility and considering a prenuptial agreement are vital risk management strategies.

The success of a long-term relationship is better predicted by how partners handle conflict and disagreement than by how much they enjoy good times together. People are more likely to break up due to poor conflict resolution than a lack of peak experiences.