Showing up as your "full self" in every situation is ineffective. A better approach is "strategic authenticity," where you adjust your communication style to suit the context (e.g., a board meeting vs. a team lunch) without compromising your fundamental values.

Many salespeople act one way in their personal life and another at work. To be truly authentic and build trust, you cannot be a 'different person' after 5 PM. Your professional persona must be an extension of who you genuinely are, otherwise prospects will sense you're playing a role.

Perfection is not relatable, but struggle is. Admitting your true emotional state, even a negative one like being tired or grumpy, to an audience (like a jury or a meeting) makes you more authentic. This vulnerability builds trust and rapport far more effectively than pretending everything is perfect.

If your natural communication style can be misconstrued (e.g., direct, quiet, transactional), preface interactions by explicitly stating it. For example, "I tend to go straight to action mode." This provides crucial context, manages others' perceptions, and gives you permission to be authentic.

Your attire is a powerful non-verbal cue. Dressing appropriately for the customer's environment—whether a farm or a boardroom—is a sign of respect. It demonstrates you understand their world and that the relationship is about them, not your personal style, which is crucial for building initial trust.

Genuine rapport isn't built on small talk; it's built by recognizing and addressing the other person's immediate emotional state. To connect, you must first help them with what's on their mind before introducing your own agenda.

Salespeople often adopt a higher-pitched, strained voice, believing it sounds more professional. However, listeners perceive this as inauthentic and untrustworthy, causing them to subconsciously disengage. True connection comes from a natural, relaxed tone, as your voice is an 'instrument of the heart' that reveals your genuine state.

Trying to impress someone is an ego-driven act focused on proving your own value. True connection is about them; it happens when you make yourself relatable and they have a moment of recognition, thinking, 'I get you.' This shifts the goal from showcasing perfection to revealing authenticity.

Talking too fast (like a "New Yorker in California") isn't just a stylistic mismatch; it implicitly tells the customer the relationship is about you, not them. Adjusting your pace is a powerful, non-verbal way to demonstrate empathy and show you are willing to meet them in their world.