Suffering isn't just pain; it's the product of pain and your resistance to it. To reduce suffering, focus not on eliminating pain (which is impossible) but on lowering your resistance to it. This reframes difficult experiences as opportunities for learning and growth, making suffering sacred.

The popular notion of "moving on" from trauma is a myth that suggests you can leave the past behind. A more realistic and healthier approach is to "move forward with it," integrating the experience into your identity. This acknowledges the permanent impact of the event while still allowing for growth and rebuilding.

Facing a life-threatening illness can paradoxically improve performance. After his cancer diagnosis, the speaker's goals narrowed from "shooting for the moon" to a methodical, daily focus on incremental improvement. This post-traumatic growth eliminated distractions and fostered a consistency that led to elite success in both his running and professional careers.

Steve Garrity identifies his emotional breakdown in a hospital parking garage as his "rock bottom." Crucially, he sees this moment as a necessary catharsis that allowed him to move forward. This perspective reframes the lowest point of a crisis not as a failure, but as a critical turning point that provides the foundation for recovery and growth.

Trauma's definition should be tied to its outcome: any permanent change in behavior from an adverse event. This reframing allows for "positive trauma," where a difficult experience forces you to adapt and establish a new, higher-performing baseline, ultimately making you better off.

Skincare founder Kate Somerville was taught to see her chaotic upbringing not as a weakness, but as a training ground that made her exceptionally good at navigating trouble. The adult self can leverage this skill while reassuring the scared inner child, turning past trauma into a present strength.

The meaning of an event is not fixed but is shaped by its narrative framing. As both the author and protagonist of our life stories, we can change an experience's impact by altering its "chapter breaks." Ending a story at a low point creates a negative narrative, while extending it to include later growth creates a redemptive one.

In his darkest moment, Anthony Trucks' friend told him, 'I thought I'd lost a hero.' This external perspective—that he was unknowingly inspiring others—planted a seed of purpose. It provided a powerful reason to live that existed outside of his own internal pain and despair.

Your personal struggles and victories are not just stories; they are the source of your unique ability to serve clients. By inventorying these experiences, you can identify how you've been shaped to solve specific problems for specific people in a way no one else can.