The popular notion of "moving on" from trauma is a myth that suggests you can leave the past behind. A more realistic and healthier approach is to "move forward with it," integrating the experience into your identity. This acknowledges the permanent impact of the event while still allowing for growth and rebuilding.
Evidence suggests that much of what people claim as post-traumatic growth is an imaginary coping mechanism. It's a way to rationalize suffering and reduce cognitive dissonance, rather than a true, observable transformation in thinking, feeling, or action.
Trauma is not an objective property of an event but a subjective experience created by the relationship between a present situation and past memories. Because experience is a combination of sensory input and remembered past, changing the meaning or narrative of past events can change the experience of trauma itself.
Shift the focus of mental health from coping and feeling comfortable to building the capacity to handle life's challenges. The goal isn't to feel better, but to become a better, more resilient person through difficult experiences.
Steve Garrity identifies his emotional breakdown in a hospital parking garage as his "rock bottom." Crucially, he sees this moment as a necessary catharsis that allowed him to move forward. This perspective reframes the lowest point of a crisis not as a failure, but as a critical turning point that provides the foundation for recovery and growth.
Trauma's definition should be tied to its outcome: any permanent change in behavior from an adverse event. This reframing allows for "positive trauma," where a difficult experience forces you to adapt and establish a new, higher-performing baseline, ultimately making you better off.
To improve your adaptability after a setback, view yourself as the main character in a movie with a guaranteed happy ending. Then ask, 'What would this character do right now to move the plot forward?' This narrative device externalizes the problem and clarifies the next constructive action.
Recovery from a life-altering event isn't about returning to your old self; that self no longer exists. True healing is a creative process of discovering who you are now. It requires imagination to invent new habits, goals, and rituals that fit your new reality, rather than trying to salvage old ones.
The common narrative that recovery ends with a cure is a myth. For many survivors of major illness, the aftermath is the true beginning of the struggle. It involves grappling with post-traumatic stress, a lost sense of identity, and the challenge of reintegrating into a world that now feels foreign.
The meaning of an event is not fixed but is shaped by its narrative framing. As both the author and protagonist of our life stories, we can change an experience's impact by altering its "chapter breaks." Ending a story at a low point creates a negative narrative, while extending it to include later growth creates a redemptive one.
After facing failure or injustice, the natural tendency is to focus on the loss. However, progress depends on shifting focus to your remaining assets. The resilience, wisdom, and strength gained from surviving hardship are powerful resources that are more than enough to build your future.