In social business settings, focus attention on the partner of the person you want to influence. A positive opinion from a spouse, shared during the "car journey home," can significantly shape the ultimate decision. This indirect "power of pillow talk" is a subtle but highly effective influence strategy.
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The amateur sales question "Are you the decision-maker?" often elicits a defensive 'yes'. A more sophisticated and effective approach is to ask, "Who else is involved in the decision-making process?" This respects the contact's position while successfully mapping the buying committee.
To effectively lead through influence, go beyond aligning on shared business objectives. Understand what personally motivates your cross-functional peers—their career aspirations or personal goals. The most powerful way to gain buy-in is to demonstrate how your initiative helps them achieve their individual ambitions.
Don't pitch big ideas by going straight to the CEO for a mandate; this alienates the teams who must execute. Instead, introduce ideas casually to find a small group of collaborative "yes, and" thinkers. Build momentum with this core coalition before presenting the developed concept more broadly.
The most effective way for a partner to support a driven, ambitious woman is not to question or challenge her vision, but to consciously step back, trust her intuition, and let her lead. This active support creates the space necessary for her to execute on her passion.
The most effective salespeople are not those with the 'gift of gab,' but those who master listening. Influence is created by asking questions that get prospects to reveal their problems, then using that information to create a value bridge to your solution.
To gain buy-in, guide people to your desired outcome through a curated series of questions. This allows them to feel like they are discovering the solution themselves, creating a powerful sense of ownership. They are more likely to commit to a conclusion they feel they helped create.
When meeting with senior leaders, shift the focus from your status updates to their priorities. Ask what's top of mind for them, what challenges they face, and how you can help. This reframes you from a direct report into a strategic ally, building trust and social capital.
Building influence requires a strategic approach. Actively survey your professional relationships, identify where you lack connections with stakeholders, and methodically invest time in building alliances with leaders who can advocate for your ideas when you're not in the room.
To find the true influencer, ask how a low-level problem affects high-level business goals (e.g., company growth). The person who can connect these dots, regardless of their title, holds the real power in the decision-making process. They are the one paid to connect daily actions to strategic objectives.
When meeting an influential person with opposing views, effectiveness trumps the need to be 'right.' The best strategy is to suppress personal indignation and identify a shared interest. Propose a policy or idea within that common ground that they might be receptive to and champion as their own.
