To move beyond status updates in one-on-one meetings, managers should open up about their own challenges. Asking a team member for their perspective on a decision the manager is making fosters trust, shows respect, and can uncover valuable insights you hadn't considered.

The foundation of clear communication isn't eloquence but active listening. The goal is to understand the other person's perspective before formulating a response, which also helps prevent reactive, stress-induced replies and makes others feel heard.

Many 1-on-1s become rote reviews of past work. A more effective approach is to dedicate significant time to discussing future plans. Use this opportunity to check in on upcoming goals and direction, ensuring you and your manager are aligned before work begins.

A key sign of low EQ is a skewed talk-to-listen ratio. By recording a meeting and showing a leader they spoke 68% of the time—not their estimated 10%—you can prove they aren't creating space for others' input, a tangible first step toward coaching improvement.

Instead of open-ended agenda items like "let's do intros," propose specific time frames, such as "Let me give you 90 seconds on me, you can give me 90 seconds on you." This small framing tactic establishes you as a professional who respects time, prevents conversations from meandering, and maintains control of the meeting's flow.

Ditch the standard 1-on-1 format. The most valuable use of this time, especially for creative roles, is a protected working session where a manager and report can whiteboard, brainstorm, and solve a specific problem together. This is far more impactful than asynchronous status updates.

As leaders rise, direct reports are less likely to provide challenging feedback, creating an executive bubble. To get unfiltered information, leaders should schedule regular one-on-ones with employees several levels down the org chart with the express purpose of listening, not dictating.

An interviewer's goal is to learn, not to talk. By dominating the conversation, as when the interviewer's question was twice as long as the answer, nothing is learned. A good rule of thumb is to limit your own speaking time to 10-15% to maximize information gathering.

Managers are often so agenda-driven they simply wait for a pause to speak, rather than truly listening. Asking a simple question like "Is there more?" after an employee shares something signals genuine curiosity, invites deeper sharing, and makes the employee feel genuinely heard and valued.