Evidence suggests that much of what people claim as post-traumatic growth is an imaginary coping mechanism. It's a way to rationalize suffering and reduce cognitive dissonance, rather than a true, observable transformation in thinking, feeling, or action.

Trauma is not an objective property of an event but a subjective experience created by the relationship between a present situation and past memories. Because experience is a combination of sensory input and remembered past, changing the meaning or narrative of past events can change the experience of trauma itself.

Shift the focus of mental health from coping and feeling comfortable to building the capacity to handle life's challenges. The goal isn't to feel better, but to become a better, more resilient person through difficult experiences.

Refusing to discuss fear and feelings at work is inefficient. Leaders must invest a reasonable amount of time proactively attending to team emotions or be forced to squander an unreasonable amount of time reacting to the negative behaviors that result from those unaddressed feelings.

Anxiety is not always a pathology but can be a purposeful signal. A study on chimps showed that removing the most sensitive, anxious members led to the entire group's demise, as they were the advance warning system for dangers. This reframes anxiety as a crucial societal function.

The brain's emotional center is five times stronger than its rational part. When triggered by stress, it shuts down executive function. A deliberate 90-second pause is a powerful antidote that allows the physiological wave of emotion to pass, enabling clearer, more considered decision-making.

Forcing positivity on someone suffering invalidates their authentic feelings of fear, anger, and grief. This "toxic positivity" creates pressure to perform as a "graceful patient," preventing the honest conversations needed to process trauma and isolation. True support makes space for the "uglier aspects" of an experience.

Leading with empathy is emotionally draining, but it's not compassion that causes fatigue—it's the distress of witnessing suffering without being able to help. For leaders, the ability to take meaningful action during crises makes the emotional cost a worthwhile price to pay.

A growing trend in psychology suggests relabeling emotions like anger as “unpleasant” rather than “negative.” This linguistic shift helps separate the aversive sensation from the emotion's potential long-term benefits or consequences, acknowledging that many difficult feelings have upsides.