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To encourage a behavior like good listening, don't compliment the person directly. Instead, associate that trait with a group they respect, like "high-performing CEOs." They will want to see themselves as part of that aspirational group and subconsciously adopt the behavior.
A subtle psychological tactic is to give someone a positive label you want them to embody. For example, saying to a recruiter, "I appreciate you being an advocate for me," makes it psychologically harder for them to act against your interests.
Most managers are conditioned to spot errors. A more powerful strategy, inspired by Ken Blanchard, is to actively "catch people doing the right thing" and praise it. This builds an emotional bank account, reinforces desired behaviors, and improves culture far more effectively than constant correction.
A "team brag session"—where each member publicly praises a colleague—is counterintuitively more beneficial for the giver. While the recipient feels respected, the act of recognizing others elevates the praiser's own morale and strengthens team bonds.
To effectively lead through influence, go beyond aligning on shared business objectives. Understand what personally motivates your cross-functional peers—their career aspirations or personal goals. The most powerful way to gain buy-in is to demonstrate how your initiative helps them achieve their individual ambitions.
Don't view positive feedback as simply a way to make someone feel good. Its primary purpose is to make a person consciously aware of what they are doing well. This awareness increases the consistency and frequency of that desired behavior, making them a better performer.
A defining trait of truly impactful leaders is their ability to see and nurture potential before an individual recognizes it themselves. This external belief acts as a powerful catalyst, giving people the confidence to tackle challenges they would otherwise avoid and building deep, lasting loyalty.
Go beyond generic compliments. Make a specific observation about the prospect's business that subtly reveals your own expertise in their domain. This positions you as a knowledgeable peer, not just a salesperson, making your praise more impactful and earning their respect.
Top performers naturally gravitate toward each other, sharing strategies and reinforcing a winning mindset. Underperformers often commiserate, creating a cycle of negativity. To improve, salespeople must consciously change their work social circle to absorb the habits and attitudes of high achievers.
The most satisfying outcome of influence is not receiving credit, but witnessing a colleague who initially resisted your idea later advocate for it with conviction, believing it to be their own. This indicates you've planted a seed that grew into genuine alignment, not forced compliance.
To train presentation or sales skills, avoid abstract feedback like 'have more energy.' Instead, break down charisma into specific, observable behaviors people can execute. Give commands like 'raise your voice,' 'talk faster,' or 'put your shoulders back' to create the desired outcome.