Instead of trying to convince people of the importance of vulnerability, first have them identify their core values. They will naturally conclude that living up to those values (e.g., courage, excellence) requires them to embrace the uncertainty and risk inherent in vulnerability.

Lasting change stems from identity-based habits, not outcome-based goals. Every small action—one meditation, one boundary set—is a 'vote' for the person you want to become. This accumulation of 'identity evidence' makes new behaviors feel natural and intrinsic rather than forced.

Founders often mistake their preferences for principles. A true principle is a non-negotiable rule you adhere to regardless of the trade-offs (e.g., 'always do things the right way'). A preference is a desired path you're willing to abandon when circumstances change (e.g., 'prefer not to build a sales team yet'). Clarifying this distinction leads to more consistent and high-integrity decisions.

Many people list "family" as a core value, but this is a misnomer. A true core value is a behavioral principle (e.g., "always be there") that applies across all domains of your life—work, friendships, and family. Family is a top priority where you apply your values, not the value itself.

Instead of asking the passive question, 'What is the meaning of life?', a more potent tool for self-discovery is to ask, 'What would I be willing to die for?' This reframes meaning as an active declaration of ultimate value, forcing a confrontation with one's deepest convictions and purpose.

To find your true calling, divide your life into five-year increments. For each block, list what you loved doing and what others said you excelled at. The seven or so themes that repeatedly emerge point directly to your core purpose and passion, which often get lost in the pursuit of money.

Your core values aren't just abstract principles you admire; they are revealed by the concrete things you willingly give up time, ego, or comfort for. Observing your sacrifices provides a clearer, more honest assessment of what truly drives you.

The paradox of values-based work is that while it often involves difficult conversations or actions, it ultimately provides energy and fulfillment. Conversely, taking the easy way out (e.g., avoiding conflict) feels simpler in the moment but leaves you feeling hollowed out and depleted.

Early life experiences of inadequacy or invalidation often create deep-seated insecurities. As adults, we are subconsciously driven to pursue success in those specific areas—be it money, power, or recognition—to fill that void and gain the validation we lacked.