Contrary to evolutionary psychology's emphasis on matching 'mate value' (e.g., a 7 with a 7), research shows that mismatched couples (e.g., an 8 with a 5 in attractiveness) are no more likely to break up, be unhappy, or cheat. The initial perceived value difference does not predict long-term relationship success.

The concept of a vast 'mating marketplace' driven by immediate value signals is a recent phenomenon. Evolutionarily, humans formed bonds based on long-term compatibility within small, familiar tribes, suggesting that today's dating apps create an unnatural and potentially detrimental dynamic.

There is a significant gap between people's stated preferences (what they say they want) and their revealed preferences (who they are attracted to in real interactions). For example, men and women both claim different priorities, but in speed-dating scenarios, both genders show strong attraction to ambitious and physically attractive partners with no significant gender difference.

The key to a successful long-term relationship isn't just chemistry; it's a partner's psychological stability. This is measured by how quickly they return to their emotional baseline after a setback. This resilience is more predictive of success than more fleeting traits.

Intense initial chemistry is often misinterpreted as a special bond. In reality, it's more likely an attribute of one person who is alluring and 'sparky' with everyone, making it a poor predictor of long-term compatibility and success.

Contrary to the "get it out of your system" theory, a higher number of past sexual partners is a strong predictor of future relationship instability. For both men and women, it correlates with higher rates of divorce, cheating, and lower satisfaction in long-term relationships.

The idea of a universal attractiveness scale (e.g., '10s' vs. '2s') only applies to initial encounters with strangers. As people get to know each other over time, their opinions on who is attractive diverge significantly. This allows individuals to find partners they personally rate as a '10', even if others don't agree.

A study found that men’s real-world sexual success was highly correlated with how intimidating other men found them, not by how attractive women rated them. This suggests female mate choice is less about direct selection and more about passively choosing the victors of intra-male competition, validating a 'male competition theory' of attraction.

Social validation from sexual conquest leads many men to overvalue it. Author Mark Manson realized it's a shallow "sport" that cannot compare to the profound meaning of a shared life in a committed relationship. The long-term bond is undersold while the chase is overhyped.