When communicating, the burden of ensuring comprehension lies with the speaker, not the listener. Just as a basketball player is responsible for throwing a catchable pass, a leader or mentor must frame their advice in a way the recipient can understand and apply. A fumble is the passer's fault.
Related Insights
This powerful maxim highlights a core cause of conflict in teams and relationships. When you expect someone to do something without clearly communicating it, you are setting them up to fail and preparing yourself to be resentful when they inevitably do. This frames clear communication not as a preference, but as a mandatory prerequisite for avoiding bitterness and maintaining healthy dynamics.
When leaders are not fully present in meetings, their fragmented attention results in poor guidance. When the team inevitably fails to deliver on these unclear instructions, the leader often blames the team's competence instead of their own lack of focus.
The foundation of clear communication isn't eloquence but active listening. The goal is to understand the other person's perspective before formulating a response, which also helps prevent reactive, stress-induced replies and makes others feel heard.
Feedback often fails because its motivation is selfish (e.g., 'I want to be right,' 'I want to vent'). It only lands effectively when the giver's genuine intention is to help the other person become who *they* want to be. This caring mindset dictates the delivery and reception.
Focusing solely on making communication faster or shorter is a mistake. Communication ultimately fails if the recipient doesn't interpret the message as the sender intended. The true goal is creating shared understanding, which accounts for the recipient's personal context and perspective, not just transmitting data efficiently.
When people don't understand your point, it's often a sign that you are not meeting them where they are. Instead of pushing forward impatiently, you must go back to their starting point, re-establish shared assumptions, or reframe the message from their perspective.
When a big-picture leader communicates with a detail-oriented team, friction is inevitable. Recognizing this as a clash of communication styles—not a personal failing or lack of competence—is the first step. Adaptation, rather than frustration, becomes the solution.
Many leaders focus on having the correct analysis. However, true leadership requires understanding that being right is useless if you can't persuade and influence others. The most successful leaders shift their focus from proving their correctness to finding the most effective way to communicate and achieve their goals.
Borrowing from filmmaking, view communication slip-ups not as failures but as different "takes." This reframes errors as opportunities to try a different approach next time, reducing fear and encouraging experimentation and growth.
We often assume our message is received as intended, but this is a frequent point of failure in communication. The only thing that matters is what the listener understands. To ensure clarity and avoid conflict, proactively ask the other person to reflect back what they heard you say.
