The biggest professional and personal problems often stem from a lack of candor. Withholding honest feedback to "keep the peace" is a destructive act that enables bad behavior and builds personal resentment over time. Delivering the truth, even when difficult, is a gift that addresses problems head-on and prevents future failure.

The call for radical workplace honesty ignores the psychological reality that most people view themselves through a self-serving, biased lens. Their "honesty" is often a projection of an inflated self-concept, as true self-awareness is rare and rarely aligned with how others perceive them.

Don't approach the world feeling entitled to others' empathy. Instead, proactively give empathy, even to those you disagree with. This act is a tool for your own well-being, triggering neurochemicals of connection and making your own life better, regardless of how it's received.

Described by his psychologist wife, Thomas Mueller-Borja's "White Knight Complex" is an obsessive need to adhere to a moral North Star. If presented with two choices, he will seek a third, better one if neither meets his ethical standards. This trait can be powerful but also infuriating in disagreements.

Being a "nice" boss often means pleasing the majority and avoiding conflict. True kindness in leadership involves toughness—holding high standards and having difficult conversations because you have your team's best interests at heart. Kindness is about betterment, not just being liked.

People-pleasing is often driven by the "Agreeableness" trait—a fear of being disliked. Genuine altruism is linked to "Honesty-Humility," where helping comes from a stable self-image and authentic concern for others' welfare, making one less susceptible to manipulation.

Daniel Lubetzky argues that niceness (politeness) can be detrimental in the workplace as it avoids necessary, difficult feedback. True kindness requires the strength to be honest and provide constructive criticism that helps colleagues and the organization grow, even if it's uncomfortable.

The paradox of values-based work is that while it often involves difficult conversations or actions, it ultimately provides energy and fulfillment. Conversely, taking the easy way out (e.g., avoiding conflict) feels simpler in the moment but leaves you feeling hollowed out and depleted.

Society teaches us to be 'nice,' which often means avoiding conflict and telling people what they want to hear. True connection, however, requires kindness. A kind person cares enough about the relationship to say the hard truth, choosing what is real over what is merely pleasant.