A man's choice of partner is often a performance to gain social and sexual capital among other men. This is seen when men date only thin, conventionally attractive women publicly, despite porn data showing private attraction to larger women.

Contrary to evolutionary psychology's emphasis on matching 'mate value' (e.g., a 7 with a 7), research shows that mismatched couples (e.g., an 8 with a 5 in attractiveness) are no more likely to break up, be unhappy, or cheat. The initial perceived value difference does not predict long-term relationship success.

Dating algorithms that match users on objective similarities are largely ineffective. Relationship success is better predicted by *perceived* similarity—a cognitive bias where people who already like each other actively find and emphasize commonalities, a form of motivated reasoning.

While surveys show women rate ambition in partners higher than men do, behavioral studies like speed dating reveal both genders equally prefer ambitious partners, choosing them 60% of the time. What people say they want versus what they actually choose are two different things.

Counter to stereotypes of commitment-phobic men, research shows men are typically more eager to commit, say "I love you" first, and want exclusivity. This is likely because their romantic partner often serves as their primary source of social and emotional support.

There is a significant gap between people's stated preferences (what they say they want) and their revealed preferences (who they are attracted to in real interactions). For example, men and women both claim different priorities, but in speed-dating scenarios, both genders show strong attraction to ambitious and physically attractive partners with no significant gender difference.

Although surveys show women prioritize earning potential more than men, Dr. Eastwick's speed-dating data reveals that when evaluating actual people, both genders are equally attracted to ambitious partners with high earning prospects. Stated preference differs from revealed preference.

The idea of a universal attractiveness scale (e.g., '10s' vs. '2s') only applies to initial encounters with strangers. As people get to know each other over time, their opinions on who is attractive diverge significantly. This allows individuals to find partners they personally rate as a '10', even if others don't agree.

Speed dating studies show couples who "click" are biologically in sync, even if a person violates the other's stated preferences (e.g., height, religion). This highlights the limits of algorithm-based matching, which cannot capture this multi-sensory phenomenon.