At the Big Five level, gender differences in personality appear small. However, breaking down the traits into sub-facets reveals more pervasive differences. For example, within Extraversion, men score higher on Assertiveness while women score higher on Enthusiasm, effects that cancel each other out at the broader level.

Contrary to romantic narratives, men's decisions to commit are driven by a list of practical, factual criteria like compatible values, shared future direction, and productive communication. While important, feelings of 'love and connection' are not the primary factors that make someone the right person to marry.

Women often focus on pleasing men by catering to preferences, a behavior rooted in survival instincts. However, men place far greater value on being admired, accepted, and empowered. They consider 'being pleased' a low-priority concern that comes after all major goals are accomplished.

Data shows high-status men practice assortative mating, pairing with women of similar educational and economic standing. The "rich man marries the young, beautiful waitress" trope is a myth; successful men value partners they can relate to intellectually and who understand their world.

As women's success grows, their preference to "date up and across" creates an imbalanced sex ratio at the top of the socioeconomic ladder. This gives a small group of ultra-high-performing men disproportionate power, leading them to be less committal.

Men often leverage their financial success as a primary tool of attraction in dating. In contrast, successful women frequently downplay their wealth due to a conditioned fear of being pursued for their money rather than their character—a concern their male counterparts rarely share.

There is a significant gap between people's stated preferences (what they say they want) and their revealed preferences (who they are attracted to in real interactions). For example, men and women both claim different priorities, but in speed-dating scenarios, both genders show strong attraction to ambitious and physically attractive partners with no significant gender difference.

People are more attracted to partners who are passionate about something—anything from trains to art—than to those with prestigious but unloved careers. Shared enthusiasm creates a stronger bond than shared professional status.

Men aren't looking for a partner who mirrors their own strengths. Instead, they search for someone with complementary skills and attributes that alter and enhance their own potential, much like a star quarterback seeks a star receiver. Criticizing a man for not having her strengths is deeply counterproductive.