Most leaders are conflict-avoidant. Instead of running from tension, view it as a data point signaling an unaddressed issue or misalignment. This reframes conflict from a threat into an opportunity for discovery and improvement, prompting curiosity rather than fear.

Teams often mistake compromise for collaboration, leading to average outcomes. True collaboration requires balancing high assertiveness (people speaking their mind directly) with high cooperativeness (openly listening to others). It is not about meeting in the middle.

Instead of promising a flawless implementation, build trust by telling prospects where issues commonly arise and what your process is to mitigate them. Acknowledging potential bumps in the road shows you have experience and a realistic plan, making you a more credible partner than a salesperson who promises perfection.

Direct questions in sales or leadership can feel confrontational. Prefacing them with 'I'm curious...' completely changes the dynamic from an interrogation to a collaborative effort to understand. This simple linguistic shift builds trust, encourages openness, and turns transactions into lasting relationships.

Shift the fundamental "through line" of your sales process from persuasion to collaboration. Instead of a lone salesperson trying to convince a buyer, think of it as a band practice: bringing in experts, client stakeholders, and internal teams to collectively work towards the best outcome.

At the beginning of a sales engagement, tell the prospect, "Our number one overriding through line... is collaboration." This sets expectations, frames the relationship as a partnership, and differentiates you from transactional sellers. You must, however, live up to this promise.

The objective of a tough conversation isn't just to deliver bad news but to leave the recipient feeling better because an issue is now on the table and can be addressed. Honesty delivered with a coaching mindset builds trust and prevents the damaging shock of a surprise negative evaluation later.

By proactively asking about potential deal-killers like budget or partner approval early in the sales process, you transform them from adversarial objections into collaborative obstacles. This disarms the buyer's defensiveness and makes them easier to solve together, preventing them from being used as excuses later.

Prioritizing rapport can kill a deal if it means letting a customer make a bad decision. 'Constructive tension' is about standing firm, leveraging your expertise to explain why their proposed path is risky, and guiding them correctly, even if it feels uncomfortable.