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The digitization of mating has replicated the dynamics of tech platforms like Amazon or Meta, where a small percentage of men receive a disproportionate majority of female attention, making it a challenging environment for the average user.
The concept of a vast 'mating marketplace' driven by immediate value signals is a recent phenomenon. Evolutionarily, humans formed bonds based on long-term compatibility within small, familiar tribes, suggesting that today's dating apps create an unnatural and potentially detrimental dynamic.
Modern dating apps create a dynamic where a small percentage of men monopolize sexual partners, leaving many others sexless. This technologically-driven outcome mirrors 'effective polygyny,' an ancestral mating pattern, rather than creating a new social problem.
As women's success grows, their preference to "date up and across" creates an imbalanced sex ratio at the top of the socioeconomic ladder. This gives a small group of ultra-high-performing men disproportionate power, leading them to be less committal.
As women increasingly outperform men socioeconomically, their innate preference to "marry up" (hypergamy) creates a paradox. A shrinking pool of high-status men have endless options and little incentive to commit, while a growing group of successful women struggle to find partners they deem suitable, leaving many men invisible.
Technology, particularly dating apps, has structured the romantic landscape into a hyper-competitive market. This system funnels the majority of female attention to a small percentage of men, creating a 'have' and 'have-not' dynamic that mirrors wealth disparity and fuels the incel narrative of a rigged system.
Unlike real-world interactions, dating app algorithms foster an extremely unequal market where a small percentage of users get the vast majority of swipes and messages, a dynamic Dr. Eastwick calls a "kleptocracy."
Online dating platforms strip away the nuances of in-person attraction like charm or humor. Instead, they reduce individuals to filterable data points (e.g., height, income), allowing users to easily screen out the vast majority of potential partners and hyper-concentrate attention on a tiny, statistically "elite" fraction.
The ability to filter partners on dating apps by hyper-specific criteria leads to a 'paradox of choice.' A common filter on Bumble, a minimum height of six feet, instantly eliminates 85% of the potential male population, contributing to the rise in singlehood.
The crisis stems from educated women preferring equal or higher-status partners. As women rapidly outpace men in education, the pool of men they deem “eligible” shrinks, creating a market imbalance that favors a small number of men at the top.
Dating apps replace traditional venues where men could demonstrate attractive qualities like humor or kindness over time. They distill value down to a few observable digital metrics like height and perceived wealth, creating a winner-take-all market that disadvantages the majority of men.