Technology, particularly dating apps, has structured the romantic landscape into a hyper-competitive market. This system funnels the majority of female attention to a small percentage of men, creating a 'have' and 'have-not' dynamic that mirrors wealth disparity and fuels the incel narrative of a rigged system.
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The concept of a vast 'mating marketplace' driven by immediate value signals is a recent phenomenon. Evolutionarily, humans formed bonds based on long-term compatibility within small, familiar tribes, suggesting that today's dating apps create an unnatural and potentially detrimental dynamic.
Women's rising socioeconomic status has led to "hyperandry," where men marry "up" economically. This is now the norm for the bottom 40% of male earners and the top 20% of female earners, creating a new social landscape with unresolved cultural tensions and mismatched preferences.
Stable marriage is increasingly correlated with high income. While 75% of men in the top income quintile marry, only 25% in the bottom quintile do. This reframes the decline of marriage not as a cultural choice, but as a clear marker of economic class division.
As women's success grows, their preference to "date up and across" creates an imbalanced sex ratio at the top of the socioeconomic ladder. This gives a small group of ultra-high-performing men disproportionate power, leading them to be less committal.
Men often leverage their financial success as a primary tool of attraction in dating. In contrast, successful women frequently downplay their wealth due to a conditioned fear of being pursued for their money rather than their character—a concern their male counterparts rarely share.
Because women traditionally 'mate up' socioeconomically, the falling economic and educational status of men has shrunk the pool of 'eligible' partners. This contributes directly to a 'mating crisis' characterized by fewer relationships, delayed family formation, and lower birth rates, with broad societal consequences.
There is a direct correlation between a young man's economic status and his likelihood of being in a relationship. As wealth inequality grows, the stability and resources required for long-term partnerships are increasingly unattainable for lower-income men, effectively turning romance into a luxury good.
The ability to filter partners on dating apps by hyper-specific criteria leads to a 'paradox of choice.' A common filter on Bumble, a minimum height of six feet, instantly eliminates 85% of the potential male population, contributing to the rise in singlehood.
Marriage is no longer a universal institution but a strong indicator of economic status. Three-quarters of men in the top income quintile will marry, compared to only one-quarter in the lowest quintile, making stable partnership a modern Veblen good.
When desirable partners are scarce, people adopt an "inner citadel" mindset to protect their ego. They convince themselves that relationships are undesirable ("men are trash") to cope with the difficulty of the modern mating market.