Effective coaching requires a two-step process. First, directly confront an individual's flaws ('poke the zit'). Then, immediately reframe their negative self-perception by explaining they are 'hurt,' not broken. This prevents them from spiraling into self-loathing and opens them to change, turning a harsh truth into a constructive catalyst.

Don't fight a negative inner voice with empty affirmations. Instead, systematically collect small, undeniable proofs of your capability. Each piece of evidence erodes the credibility of your inner critic, making it easier to push past self-imposed limits.

A practical technique to halt negative self-talk is to personify your inner critic with a ridiculous name (e.g., "ass clown"). When negative thoughts arise, you directly address and dismiss this character out loud or in your head. This act of externalizing the voice serves as a powerful trigger to break the negative thought cycle.

The mind is a masterful manipulator that often won't lead with criticism. Instead, it pulls you in with praise, telling you how great you are. Once it has your trust and attention, it pivots to systematically listing your flaws, making the negative self-talk feel more credible and devastating.

Critiques using words like 'beautiful' or 'ugly' are often perceived as moral judgments on one's identity. In contrast, using less-charged, functional words like 'boring' frames the feedback as an objective problem to be solved, making it more palatable and actionable for the recipient.

Labels like 'imposter syndrome' or 'feeling like a failure' are purely mental stories, not physical realities. Your body doesn't know what 'failure' is; it only experiences sensations like a churning stomach or tightness in the chest. By focusing on the raw physical feeling, you disconnect from the mind's debilitating narrative.

To combat negative self-talk like "I'm worthless," simply trying to stop the thought is ineffective. A better technique is to add a contrasting, positive truth. Acknowledging "I'm anxious and afraid, but I'm also courageous and brave" breaks the cycle by accepting the feeling while introducing an empowering reality.

Overcome the fear of negative feedback by reframing it. A person leaving a hateful comment is likely deeply unhappy. Instead of feeling attacked, feel pity for their state of mind. This psychological shift neutralizes the comment's emotional power over you.

People are more willing to accept and incorporate feedback about traits they see as secondary, like being "well-spoken" or "witty." Tying feedback to core identity traits, such as kindness or integrity, is more likely to be perceived as a threat and trigger a defensive response.