Instead of a manager directly confronting a high-performing but difficult employee, a more effective strategy is to empower the team's respected leaders to intervene. Coach Brian White notes that peer pressure is often the most powerful influencer for correcting behavior and ensuring cultural alignment.
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Directly confronting someone about a behavioral 'blocker' often causes defensiveness. A better method is to first demonstrate your own self-awareness and vulnerability. Then, ask for permission to share observations, which creates trust and makes them more receptive to exploring their behavior.
Building a culture where teams hold each other accountable isn't complex. It requires a leader to be a "dictator" in setting clear expectations—literally saying "I want you all to be accountable"—and then being willing to deliver the verdict on consequences when people fail to meet those standards. The problem is often leader avoidance, not team inability.
When a high-potential but resistant employee rejects a logical change, shift the dynamic. Instead of persuading them, challenge them to justify their role within 24 hours. This forces them to confront their lack of coachability and choose between their ego and their potential, creating a powerful growth moment.
Don't hold elite performers to the same activity metrics as the rest of the team. Instead, grant them autonomy while explicitly stating they are not exempt from being a team player. This builds trust and respect, allowing them to focus on results without undermining team morale.
View poor performance or difficult behavior as a manifestation of 'feelings overpowering skills,' rather than a conscious bad choice. This transforms a leader's role from a disciplinarian to a coach focused on teaching the missing skills to manage the situation.
A kind culture must be actively protected. How a company handles high-performing but unkind employees reveals its true values. Prioritizing cultural integrity by addressing or removing these individuals sends a powerful signal that kindness is non-negotiable, even at a potential short-term cost.
When confronting a high-performing but abrasive employee, don't just criticize. Frame the conversation around their career. Offer a choice: remain a great individual contributor, or learn the interpersonal skills needed for a broader leadership role, with your help.
A manager's highest duty is to an employee's fulfillment, not just their performance. When a top performer is not personally aligned with their role, a leader should actively help them find a better fit—even if it means using their own social capital to place them at another organization.
Leadership and influence aren't tied to performance metrics or official titles. The most respected people on a team are often those who, regardless of their output, consistently work hard, hold others accountable, and embody the culture. These informal leaders are critical for a healthy locker room.
Instead of trying to change a toxic superior, which is often futile, focus on leading your own team differently. Build such powerful connection, engagement, and results that your boss has no choice but to recognize the success of your approach, creating a powerful argument for culture change from the bottom up.
