There are two types of help-seeking. "Dependent" help just solves the immediate problem. "Autonomous" help focuses on learning how to solve the problem yourself next time. To develop your team's skills and self-reliance, frame requests and provide assistance in a way that prioritizes learning the process, not just getting the answer.
To empower your team, enforce the '1-3-1 rule' for problem-solving. Before anyone can escalate an issue to you, they must define the one problem, research three potential solutions, and present their single best recommendation. This forces critical thinking and shifts the team from problem-spotters to problem-solvers.
Instead of solving problems brought by their team, effective leaders empower them by shifting ownership. After listening to an issue, the immediate next step is to ask the team to propose a viable solution. This builds their problem-solving and decision-making capabilities.
An outdated leadership model pressures leaders to have all the answers. The superior, long-term approach is to focus on the individual, not the problem, by asking questions that guide them to their own solutions, thereby building their confidence and critical thinking skills.
When an employee presents a problem they should be able to solve, resist providing a solution. Instead, return ownership by asking, "What do you think you should do about that?" This simple question forces critical thinking and breaks the team's dependency on you for answers.
When a team is struggling, a micromanager gives the answer. An effective hands-on leader resists making the decision. Instead, they intervene to teach the team the correct *method* for arriving at the decision, thereby improving the organization's long-term capabilities.
New leaders must transition from being the expert to being a coach. This involves letting your team struggle and even fail. Ask open-ended questions like, "When have you faced something similar before?" to build their problem-solving skills instead of simply giving them the solution.
Many leaders, particularly in technical fields, mistakenly believe their role is to provide all the answers. This approach disempowers teams and creates a bottleneck. Shifting from advising to coaching unlocks a team's problem-solving potential and allows leaders to scale their impact.
To change culture, change behavior first. Implement structured practices like a daily stand-up where each person must state what help they need. This reframes asking for help from a sign of weakness into a routine, expected contribution. Not asking becomes a failure to participate, fundamentally altering team dynamics.
Use the GROW model (Goal, Reality, Options, Way Forward) to structure coaching conversations. This simple set of question categories helps leaders guide their team members to find their own solutions, fostering independence and critical thinking without the leader needing to provide the answer directly.
The well-intentioned question "How can I help?" puts the burden on the receiver to delegate. A far more valuable trait is proactively identifying needs and simply taking action—a "just do" mentality. This demonstrates a deeper understanding of team goals and removes cognitive load from leaders.