Purpose isn't a pre-existing truth you find, like an archaeological dig. It's something you actively build, like an architect. You choose an area of interest, invest energy to build skill, and it transforms into a passion through a feedback loop of personal fascination and external validation.

The common advice to 'find your purpose' can be counterproductive. It boxes you into a static self-identity, creating friction and existential crises whenever you grow or your interests change. A more flexible approach is to focus on a set of core values that guide you, rather than a single, reductive 'purpose'.

Purpose isn't exclusive to high-status professions. Any job can become a source of deep purpose by connecting its daily tasks to a larger, positive impact. A NASA custodian can be "putting a man on the moon," and a parking attendant checking tire treads can be ensuring driver safety. Purpose is a mindset.

A prestigious title doesn't guarantee a sense of purpose. A doctor can feel their work is just a job, while a shuttle bus driver can find deep meaning by choosing to make people smile. Purpose is an active, individual choice to serve, accessible to anyone in any role.

Instead of asking the passive question, 'What is the meaning of life?', a more potent tool for self-discovery is to ask, 'What would I be willing to die for?' This reframes meaning as an active declaration of ultimate value, forcing a confrontation with one's deepest convictions and purpose.

The ultimate aim is not to achieve conventional success, but to fully express your unique self. This lifelong project is paradoxical: you cannot become unique by yourself. You need others—friends, family, customers—to reflect your authentic self back to you, helping you see who you are.

Many people find their calling not by pursuing a lifelong dream, but through a process of discernment. This involves engaging in new experiences, reflecting on what provides fulfillment, and then using those insights to inform the next step in a continuous cycle of trial and error.

Instead of focusing on external achievements, consider that life's core purpose is optimizing your inner self. This requires a continuous balancing act between "order" (structure, habits, thoughts) and "vitality" (energy, spontaneity, emotion). True well-being emerges from this equilibrium.

Goals (e.g., "be a doctor," "be happy") are outcome-focused and can lead to frustration if not achieved. Intentions (e.g., "act with kindness") are process-focused and within your control in any moment. Centering your life on intentions creates a stable internal anchor, regardless of your job title or external circumstances.