People won't bring you problems if they fear your reaction. To build trust, leaders must not only control their emotions but actively thank the messenger. This reframes problem-reporting from a negative event to a positive act that helps you see reality more clearly.

In a crisis, the instinct is to shout louder and match escalating chaos. True leadership involves 'energetic jujitsu': deliberately slowing down and bringing calmness to the situation. This rare skill is more powerful than simply increasing intensity.

In leadership, especially during conflict, you have a choice. You can be a 'thermometer,' merely reacting to the emotional temperature of the room, or a 'thermostat,' actively setting and controlling it. Great leaders intentionally manage the environment, calming panic or creating urgency as needed, rather than mirroring the ambient mood.

Musician Jacob Collier evaluates groups on a 'supple vs. brittle' axis. Supple groups adapt to unexpected events, while brittle ones resist and snap under pressure. Leaders must create psychological safety that enables teams to embrace spontaneity rather than tightening up.

Refusing to discuss fear and feelings at work is inefficient. Leaders must invest a reasonable amount of time proactively attending to team emotions or be forced to squander an unreasonable amount of time reacting to the negative behaviors that result from those unaddressed feelings.

The brain's emotional center is five times stronger than its rational part. When triggered by stress, it shuts down executive function. A deliberate 90-second pause is a powerful antidote that allows the physiological wave of emotion to pass, enabling clearer, more considered decision-making.

Before labeling a team as not resilient, leaders should first examine their own expectations. Often, what appears as a lack of resilience is a natural reaction to systemic issues like overwork, underpayment, and inadequate support, making it a leadership problem, not an employee one.

A bad boss is the number one predictor of job dissatisfaction. Because emotions are contagious, leaders have a professional duty to manage their own well-being. Working on your own happiness is not a selfish act but a gift to the people you are responsible for.

Leading with empathy is emotionally draining, but it's not compassion that causes fatigue—it's the distress of witnessing suffering without being able to help. For leaders, the ability to take meaningful action during crises makes the emotional cost a worthwhile price to pay.