Neuroscience shows that practicing gratitude, like writing down things you're thankful for, physically changes your brain. This makes the feeling more spontaneous over time, reinforcing that it's a trainable skill that can be exercised, not just a passive state you experience.

Instead of reacting to a frustrating behavior, approach it with "loving curiosity" to find its root cause, often in a person's past. Discovering this "understandable reason" naturally and effortlessly triggers compassion, dissolving judgment and conflict without forcing empathy.

True empathy doesn't require having lived through the same event. It's the ability to connect with the underlying emotions—grief, fear, joy—that you have experienced. In fact, having the identical experience can sometimes lead to empathic failure because you assume their reaction must be the same as yours.

Shift the focus of mental health from coping and feeling comfortable to building the capacity to handle life's challenges. The goal isn't to feel better, but to become a better, more resilient person through difficult experiences.

People often confuse empathy with agreement. In collaborative problem-solving, empathy is a tool for understanding. You can completely disagree with someone's perspective while still working to accurately understand it, which is the necessary first step to finding a solution.

Research shows that when adults (parents, managers) use collaborative problem-solving, they don't just help the other person. The act of practicing empathy, perspective-taking, and flexible thinking strengthens these very same neurocognitive skills in themselves.

True connection requires humility. Instead of trying to imagine another's viewpoint ("perspective taking"), a more effective approach is to actively seek it out through questions and tentative statements ("perspective getting"). This avoids misreads and shows genuine interest.

Courage isn't the absence of fear but the decision to act despite it. This reframes bravery from a fixed personality characteristic to a skill that can be developed by choosing to lean into fear and not let it dictate actions.

Empathy has three parts: emotional (feeling others' pain), cognitive (understanding it), and compassion (wishing them well). Emotional empathy—vicariously taking on others' suffering—is most associated with burnout. For caregivers and leaders, cultivating cognitive empathy and compassion is more sustainable and effective.