When a norm is violated publicly, it threatens the common knowledge that the norm exists and is enforced. The resulting public punishment, like a digital-age pillory, isn't just about the transgressor; it's a signal to the entire community that the norm is still in effect, thereby restoring common knowledge.
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Unlike a spoken apology ("cheap talk"), a blush is an uncontrollable physiological response. It credibly signals to others that you acknowledge breaking a social norm, establishing common knowledge of your remorse and your acceptance of the norm itself. This makes the "apology" authentic.
Contrary to pop psychology, guilt can be a powerful motivator. Guilt makes you feel "I did a bad thing," prompting amends. Shame, however, makes you feel "I am a bad person," leading to withdrawal or aggression. A healthy dose of guilt can fuel moral ambition.
In variations of Stanley Milgram's obedience experiments, the presence of nonconformists, or "principled deviants," dramatically reduced the group's willingness to inflict harm. These outsiders model ethical behavior, reining in the cruelty of others and guiding the group toward a better moral outcome.
Stakeholders demand courageous leadership but foster a culture of intolerance. By failing to distinguish between major offenses and minor infractions and "canceling" leaders for mistakes, the public itself disincentivizes the very courage and authenticity it seeks, creating a paralyzing circular problem.
A16Z has a zero-tolerance policy: employees who publicly "talk smack" about any entrepreneur—even one not in their portfolio—are fired immediately. This prevents a culture of looking smart by making others look stupid and solidifies their core identity as supporters of innovation, not critics.
Most people (88%) agree on fundamental values but remain silent, fearing ostracization. This allows the most extreme 5% of voices to dominate 90% of public discourse, creating a false impression of widespread disagreement and polarization where one doesn't exist.
Our anger towards hypocrisy stems from a perceived 'false signal.' A hypocrite gains status (respect, trust) without paying the cost of their claimed principles. This triggers our deep sense of injustice about an unfair exchange, making the violation about social standing more than just morality.
Our culture equates accountability with punishment. A more powerful form of accountability is making someone a co-owner in solving the root problem. This ensures the issue doesn't recur and is the ultimate form of taking responsibility for one's actions.
Human societies are not innately egalitarian; they are innately hierarchical. Egalitarianism emerged as a social technology in hunter-gatherer groups, using tools like gossip and ostracism to collectively suppress dominant 'alpha' individuals who threatened group cohesion.
Public criticism and 'cancellation' attempts lose their power if you refuse to remove yourself from the conversation. The ultimate act of being cancelled is your own decision to stop showing up, learning, and creating. By continuing to participate and evolve, you retain control over your own platform.
