A core value, such as a need for trust, can be a leader's greatest strength or weakness. Without self-awareness, it drives toxic behaviors like micromanaging. With self-awareness, that same value becomes a tool for explicitly setting expectations and building a strong team culture.
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When a leader models extreme behavior, like working immediately after surgery, it sends an implicit message to the team: 'Your personal crises don't matter; the mission is everything.' This can inadvertently create a culture where employees feel they can't take time for personal emergencies.
Leaders often burn out because their team is overly reliant on them. This dependency isn't a sign of a weak team but rather a leader's subtle micromanagement and failure to truly empower them, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of indispensability.
True self-awareness involves publicly admitting your weaknesses. By openly stating what you're bad at (e.g., 'I suck at 99% of things'), you build immense credibility and trust when you then declare your strengths. This approach validates your expertise in your core competencies.
Contrary to common belief, feeling fear is not what prevents leaders from being courageous. The real barrier is the defensive "armor"—behaviors like micromanagement or feigned intensity—that leaders adopt when afraid. The path to courage involves identifying and shedding this armor, not eliminating fear.
Stanford's famous "Interpersonal Dynamics" course teaches a counterintuitive leadership principle: sharing personal vulnerabilities and imperfections doesn't weaken a leader's position. Instead, it builds trust and fosters stronger connections, shifting relationships from a mystery to something one can actively shape through authentic behavior.
'Hidden blockers' like micromanagement or a need to always be right rarely stem from negative intent. They are often deep-seated, counterproductive strategies to fulfill fundamental human needs for value, safety, or belonging. Identifying the underlying need is the first step toward finding a healthier way to meet it.
Self-aware managers recognize that their strengths and weaknesses are two sides of the same coin. For example, being deeply thoughtful (a strength) often means not being quick on your feet in meetings (a weakness). Acknowledging this link is key to personal growth.
People connect with humanity, not perfection. True leadership requires understanding your own narrative, including flaws and traumas. Sharing this story isn't a weakness; it's the foundation of the connection and trust that modern teams crave, as it proves we are all human.
Psychologist Tasha Yurik's research shows 95% of people believe they're self-aware, yet only 10-15% actually are. This massive gap between self-perception and reality is where professional friction and miscommunication originate, as leaders are blind to their true impact on others.
We often treat our values as immutable truths. However, many are learned from early mentors or career environments. It's crucial to periodically question if these are truly your values or adopted principles that no longer serve your current leadership role or life stage.
