Rejection isn't just a feeling; it's a neurophysical 'fight or flight' response where your body perceives a threat. Understanding this science helps salespeople detach from the emotional pain and manage it as a biological process, not a personal failing.
To handle constant rejection, mentalist Oz Perlman created a separate professional persona. When a trick was rejected, it was "Oz the magician" who failed, not Oz Perlman the person. This emotional distancing prevents personalizing failure and builds resilience, a crucial skill for any public-facing role.
You wouldn't bowl in street shoes; similarly, you can't sell effectively without the right mindset. Emotional control and mental readiness provide the stability and traction needed to handle rejection and pressure. This isn't a "nice to have"—it's foundational equipment you must prepare daily to avoid slipping at the first objection.
This metaphor reframes the cost of inaction due to rejection. By allowing a prospect to stop you, you are willingly giving them power over your income, which is as illogical as letting a stranger take the money meant for your family.
View objections not as personal attacks but as impersonal feedback, like bowling pins left standing. They reveal flaws in your approach's angle or force. This shift allows you to analyze the situation objectively, adjust your strategy, and try again with a different approach rather than becoming emotionally derailed.
Top performers don't eliminate the fear of rejection; they diminish its power through repeated exposure. This 'obstacle immunity' conditions them to act despite their brain's natural fear response, just as an expert skydiver still feels fear but jumps anyway.
Labels like 'imposter syndrome' or 'feeling like a failure' are purely mental stories, not physical realities. Your body doesn't know what 'failure' is; it only experiences sensations like a churning stomach or tightness in the chest. By focusing on the raw physical feeling, you disconnect from the mind's debilitating narrative.
Top salespeople aren't just skilled; they've mastered their internal psychology. Most performance issues stem from fear, lack of information, and self-limiting beliefs, which prevent them from taking necessary actions like making calls.
Overcome the fear of negative feedback by reframing it. A person leaving a hateful comment is likely deeply unhappy. Instead of feeling attacked, feel pity for their state of mind. This psychological shift neutralizes the comment's emotional power over you.
Salespeople who fixate on potential negative outcomes, like a golfer expecting to hit into a water hazard, subconsciously alter their actions to make that failure more likely. This negativity bias becomes a physical, self-fulfilling prophecy where the very act of preparing for failure ensures it.
Defensiveness arises because our brain's self-relevance and value systems are intertwined. Feedback threatening a specific action (e.g., "you're a risky driver") is often interpreted as a threat to our core identity ("I'm a bad person"), triggering a strong protective response.