Top performers don't eliminate the fear of rejection; they diminish its power through repeated exposure. This 'obstacle immunity' conditions them to act despite their brain's natural fear response, just as an expert skydiver still feels fear but jumps anyway.
A mental performance coach taught diver Molly Carlson to visualize fear as a piece of paper in front of her eyes. Instead of trying to destroy the paper, she gently shifts it to the side, allowing it to exist without consuming her focus, freeing her to perform.
When presented with a new strategy, high performers are drawn to it because they are mentally disciplined to be comfortable with risk. In contrast, middle and low performers often resist change because it feels like a personal judgment on their past methods, triggering fear and shame.
You cannot simply think your way out of a deep-seated fear, as it is an automatic prediction. To change it, you must systematically create experiences that generate "prediction error"—where the feared outcome doesn't happen. This gradual exposure proves to your brain that its predictions are wrong, rewiring the response over time.
The key differentiator for top performers is that their mind overrules their feelings. Feelings suggest quitting, offer excuses, and lead to overthinking. A strong mind makes a decision and executes, driving resilience and action despite emotional resistance or doubt.
Success requires resilience, which is built by experiencing and recovering from small failures. Engaging in activities with public stakes, like sports or public speaking, teaches you to handle losses, bounce back quickly, and develop the mental fortitude needed for high-stakes endeavors.
Top performers don't conquer nervousness; they listen to it. Self-doubt is an indicator to lean into, not a signal to stop. Performance coach Giselle Ugardi suggests talking back to your inner critic as a way to reframe and manage the feeling, rather than trying to suppress it.
When facing the immense pressure of doing Oprah's eyebrows on live TV, Anastasia Soare’s calm came from having performed the task thousands of times. This deep, repetitive mastery creates an autopilot mode that overrides fear and ensures quality performance when the stakes are highest.
Professional athlete Chiney Ogwumike conquered her fear of shooting free throws not with psychological hacks, but through relentless, repetitive practice. This brute-force approach builds mastery and confidence, demonstrating that true freedom from performance fear is earned through dedicated work, not just mindset shifts.
Courage isn't the absence of fear but the decision to act despite it. This reframes bravery from a fixed personality characteristic to a skill that can be developed by choosing to lean into fear and not let it dictate actions.
Do not wait to feel confident before you start a new venture. Confidence isn't something you find; it's something you build through the repetitive act of showing up and doing the work, even when you're terrified. It is a result of consistent courage, not a cause of it.