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Phillip Sharp advises that the best mentors don't make decisions for their mentees. Instead, they use conversation to help them think through the consequences of different paths and understand their options more clearly. The goal is to facilitate the mentee's own decision-making process.
A mentor isn't someone who provides step-by-step instructions. The most powerful learning comes from finding someone you admire and closely observing their every move, how they speak, and how they behave in the face of obstacles, rather than seeking direct guidance.
When a team member asks for a decision, don't give them the answer. Instead, guide them with a series of questions about advantages, disadvantages, and future impact. This coaches them through the critical thinking process, empowering them to make better decisions independently in the future.
An outdated leadership model pressures leaders to have all the answers. The superior, long-term approach is to focus on the individual, not the problem, by asking questions that guide them to their own solutions, thereby building their confidence and critical thinking skills.
Mentoring is not just altruistic; it's a powerful tool for self-improvement. When mentees apply a senior PM's frameworks and encounter challenges, it forces the mentor to refine their models, plug gaps, and confirm which patterns are truly repeatable. It's a feedback loop for your own expertise.
Great mentors explicitly clarify whether a mentee seeks direct advice (mentoring) or guidance to find their own solutions (coaching). This distinction, along with mentee-driven goals, makes the relationship more effective and respects the mentee's agency.
A mentor's unique value lies in their ability to provide brutally honest feedback that a regular coworker would avoid. This directness, like being told your thinking is 'all over the place,' is what forces critical self-reflection and sparks genuine growth.
True coaching doesn't provide answers. It creates a space where individuals must confront their own problems and do the work of finding their own path forward. This shift from passive recipient to active participant is often surprising but leads to more profound results.
Effective mentorship isn't a planned activity but an instinctive response to seeing others struggle. For leader Nick Pachuda, the impulse to stop and offer a few minutes of help has proven more impactful than formal programs, often changing the trajectory of others' careers.
New leaders must transition from being the expert to being a coach. This involves letting your team struggle and even fail. Ask open-ended questions like, "When have you faced something similar before?" to build their problem-solving skills instead of simply giving them the solution.
Instead of offering direct advice, a powerful coaching technique is to ask a struggling individual to mentor someone else with a similar problem. This 'flips the script,' boosting their self-esteem, forcing them to introspect for solutions, and creating accountability to follow their own counsel.