Standard advice to "be authentic" is often unhelpful for neurodivergent leaders. Their unprocessed authenticity can be misinterpreted, leading to a feeling they must be "authentic at pretending to be neurotypical." The real skill is translating their authentic thoughts for a neurotypical audience.

While everyone's message can get lost, the key difference for neurodivergent individuals is the immense cognitive effort required to even recognize their communication is off-track ('signal drift') and the even higher cost to correct it, which can lead to faster burnout.

When communicating, the burden of ensuring comprehension lies with the speaker, not the listener. Just as a basketball player is responsible for throwing a catchable pass, a leader or mentor must frame their advice in a way the recipient can understand and apply. A fumble is the passer's fault.

The human mind rejects ideas that are too novel. Effective communication and innovation should be grounded in the familiar, introducing only about 20% new information. This principle, from designer Raymond Loewy, helps make new concepts intelligible and acceptable.

When people don't understand your point, it's often a sign that you are not meeting them where they are. Instead of pushing forward impatiently, you must go back to their starting point, re-establish shared assumptions, or reframe the message from their perspective.

To introduce a new idea, a leader shouldn't dictate terms. Instead, they should pose it as a discussion topic and listen to the language the team uses (e.g., "cost of living" vs. "inflation"). Adopting their terminology builds shared understanding and makes people feel heard, which enables collective action.

A truly great communicator isn't defined by their own eloquence but by their ability to improve the communication of others. Through deep listening, curiosity, and skillful questioning, they act as a thought partner, helping people discover and articulate their own ideas more effectively.

When leaders don't approve an idea, it's easy to blame them for not understanding. A more productive mindset is to accept that the failure to influence and convince them is your responsibility. As a leader from Box used to say, "It's not my fault, but it is my problem."

Borrowing from filmmaking, view communication slip-ups not as failures but as different "takes." This reframes errors as opportunities to try a different approach next time, reducing fear and encouraging experimentation and growth.