Direct questions in sales or leadership can feel confrontational. Prefacing them with 'I'm curious...' completely changes the dynamic from an interrogation to a collaborative effort to understand. This simple linguistic shift builds trust, encourages openness, and turns transactions into lasting relationships.

In a rapidly changing environment, adaptability ('malleability') is key. To get past rehearsed answers about work projects, ask candidates to describe personal changes they've made in their own lives. This reveals their genuine capacity for self-reflection and adaptation.

Studies show executives who admit to past struggles, like being rejected from multiple jobs, are trusted more by employees. This vulnerability doesn't diminish their perceived competence and can significantly increase team motivation and willingness to work for them.

Citing Oprah Winfrey, Rubenstein argues the key to great interviewing is not having the best questions but being a great listener. True listening allows the interviewer to pivot and follow up on unexpected answers, turning a rigid Q&A into a genuine conversation that uncovers far deeper insights than a prepared script ever could.

Don't start an interview on the back foot by reciting your resume. Immediately reframe the conversation by asking what about your background excited them. This forces them to reveal their needs and shifts the dynamic to a consultation, not an interrogation.

To create a truly safe culture, leaders must demonstrate vulnerability first. By proactively sharing personal struggles—like being a recovering alcoholic or having gone through trauma therapy—during the interview process, leaders signal from day one that mental health is a priority and that it's safe for employees to be open about their own challenges.

Leading a high-stakes meeting with a personal 'ignition story'—a short version of why you care—can transform the dynamic. It shifts the interaction from transactional to relational, building trust and opening the door for deeper, more productive conversations with skeptical stakeholders.

To assess a candidate's true character and values, move beyond standard interview questions. Use unexpected, personal prompts like "What's something your parents taught you?" or "What was your first job?" These questions reveal foundational lessons, resilience, and personal drive, which are hard to gauge otherwise.

Early-stage founders often make the mistake of grilling candidates in the first interview. Instead, the entire first hour should be dedicated to selling the company, the vision, and the opportunity. You can't evaluate someone who isn't excited to join your mission yet.